Happy Thanksgiving!!

What's better than an uber-talented, uber-friendly cast?
An uber-talented, uber-friendly cast of 'foodies' that can cook!!

J and I have hosted some version of an 'Orphan's Thanksgiving' for six of the ten years we've been together - one exception being last year, in which neither of us were in a show and all of our out-of-town friends were... well, ...out of town.
Since a good chunk of our Hairspray cast is from all over - Utah, Georgia, New York, New Jersey - it seemed fitting to stick together over the one-day break from our performance schedule.

Our 'Thanksgiving' actually began on Wednesday night when our dear friends from L.A. (Chris and Ally) came to see the show and have a drink afterward. I often forget how much I miss a person's energy until I'm once again in their presence, drinking in their inspirational vibes. That is such the case with our 'old school' crew and every time I see them, I love them more! And so it was in a small bar over shoestring fries and pretty nachos that I started to feel like it was a true holiday.
Fast forward several hours... as I'm buzzed on white wine and clad only in my robe... to 3:30am where I'm in my kitchen, hastily preparing a brine for my turkey.
Now, we knew we were going to try to eat around 2pm at my mom's house, which meant getting there about noon to help. This meant setting my hardcore alarm (which J says sounds like some kind of nuclear meltdown) for 6am to start roasting the bird.
After less than three hours of sleep, I was up cookin' the turkey and probably should have gone right back to sleep... but the sun had risen.

The house was cold and quiet with J and the animals still asleep.

I was able to listen to the birds outside, inspect the renewed bloom of the poinsettia in my kitchen, and revel in the aromas that were beginning to seep from the oven.

At 9, I flipped the bird and turned on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (an annual tradition) and promptly fell asleep on the couch. At ten, Roxie announced the arrival of the kids with a hearty bark and the house went into full 'action' mode.

We made it to mom's around 12:30, which was plenty of time to finish preparations, carve both birds (Jerry smoked one - it was heavenly!), and lick the beaters from mom's mashed taters.
Collard greens, green bean casserole, cornbread, ham, pasta salad, potatoes for days, Corey's amazing banana puddin' and Megan's delicious cake... we had a feast!!!

I was starting to fade after round two... and found myself snoozing on J... overwhelmed.

Not overwhelmed with responsibility or obligation, but overwhelmed with satisfaction. Overwhelmed with blessing.
Overwhelmed with gratitude.

My parents are amazing. My mom puts up with my routine mischief and troublesome nature and bails me out more than should be allowed at my age. My step-dad is an incredible guy with a heart of gold and an amazing artistic eye (for a straight man). My brothers have all turned into amazing young men with incredible wives. My nieces and nephews are the best looking kids to ever grace the face of the earth and are all sharp as tacks. And my kids... oh, my kids... who make me smile with just the thought of what phenomenal human beings they are, and inspire me every day to be a better person. My kids, who tolerate my absences during tech week and 5-show weekends. My kids, who get as excited about sharing their holidays with a group of whacky artists as I do. My kids, who continue to teach me every day that my capacity for love is much greater than I ever thought it could be.

My son and I gorged ourselves on second (and third) helpings of banana puddin' after a short nap at home.
And now... I will fall into bed and sleep in tomorrow, thankful that the show schedule is light this weekend. Thankful that I have food in my belly, a warm bed to sleep in, a roof over my head, and steady work through May.

Thankful that my kids were more excited than disappointed that I'll be at Arkansas Repertory for 8 weeks this Spring.

Thankful for the extended family that has touched my life (and my belly) over the past 5 weeks.

Just. Thankful.

Another Openin', Another Show!

Tonight was Opening Night for Hairspray.
I should be asleep because there are two shows tomorrow.
I definitely shouldn't be blogging - especially at 2am after a few glasses of wine at the cast party! (Well, technically, it was one glass... or rather, a plastic cup that kept getting mysteriously refilled... but I digress.)

Our tech was grueling. Well, the whole process was a bit of organized chaos, really. We staged Act I in the first week, Act II in the second week and went into tech our third week. We had 3 "10 of 12"s... which means we're at the theatre from 11am to 11pm with a 2-hour dinner break. So, yeah... 30 hours of tech rehearsal in three days. Can you say sleepy and cranky mama??

Wednesday and Thursday were our Preview performances and they were packed. I was kinda surprised... I mean, I know that Hairspray is a popular show, but I didn't expect that our Previews would be sold out! Standing ovations, amazing feedback from audience members, great response in ticket sales...

And I found myself in a corner tonight, surveying the smiling faces milling through Mr. B's backyard... and felt more than a little overwhelmed.

There is a moment in this show that I find incredibly moving and sobering. Thankfully, I'm backstage and have a few moments to compose myself before my next entrance - because it never fails to bring me to tears and leave me emotionally wobbly. For those not familiar with 'Hairspray', it deals with issues such as civil rights, prejudices, overcoming obstacles, etc. etc. While the practical application of the show deals 'mostly' with racism, it's a pretty decent commentary on any and all social stereotypes. And one of the clever elements or at least an astute observation on the part of Mr. Waters, is that the children of the show are the catalysts to change outdated or unenlightened traditions of their predecessors. Much like I feel like my generation rebelled against what we considered outdated or misguided opinions, ideas, traditions, rituals, etc; I also think it will be our children and our children's children that finally abolish what is left of the bigotry and intolerance that still weighs heavy in our ranks.

What I love most about this show is the joyous spirit of it. Not only is the show itself uplifting and inspiring, but the cast is really an incredible eclectic mix of awesomeness that I never would have dreamed. I remember getting Tiff's first email with the contact list... and I read down each name, smiling at the familiar ones that I knew or had worked with before and wondering who the others were and what they'd be like.

I feel like we bonded instantly, knowing the work that was ahead for all of us. When we laugh, we laugh loud and hard; when we cry, we cry openly.

There are times in my life that I wonder if I've made the right choices in my life. I miss a lot of my kids' recitals, games, and events because I work the equivalent of a 'swing shift' with Mondays off. (And I'm usually doing at least a shoot or two on Mondays.) I've traded in financial success for being passionate about what I do and I often panic when I think that I'm a mere emergency away from being in debt again. (Which took me the last seven years to climb out of.)

Any time I begin to have doubts... any time I find myself perusing want ads for marketing execs; God, the universe, the magic of fate, drops me into a project like this one. I'm loving every moment and every person involved. I feel like I'm learning and growing. It has felt like more than just another Opening Night. This one has been special. I know I don't fully understand 'why' just yet... and it may take many years for me to appreciate some elements of this production that I don't right now, but I'm trying to soak up as much as I possibly can while I can.

In the meantime, I feel blessed.

Blessed to be part of something so amazing.

And very very grateful.

To vent or not to vent...

From time to time, I have the chance to mentor young actors. Sometimes they are students from workshops or the children of friends or young castmates... but I often find myself asked for advice that I don't always think I'm qualified to give.

Because I didn't go through college and get my degree in theatre, I feel as if there is a lot I've missed in regards to formally educating myself on my own craft. I've taken workshops on Meisner, Stanislavski, Linklater, and worked with directors who used everything from contemporary dance to Chekhov, but it's nothing like immersing yourself scholastically for years. Rather, it's immediate practical application, which appeals to my impatient nature. (I like to learn by doing because I can immediately gauge my aptitude for whatever it is I'm exploring.)

While I consider myself a generally confident and positive person, I do go through times of frustration or insecurity that can shake up my reality for a good number of days. It's nothing, however, compared to what I was like ten years ago.
A mere decade ago, I was borderline bipolar, suffering from a severely negative body image, and living an incredibly self-centered existence. The theatre was my sole outlet and everything about it impacted me. It was drama, drama, drama... and I reveled in it.
A lot can change in that amount of time.
There is much to be learned. Some of it can only be learned the hard way.

I sat this weekend with a young and very talented actor who was feeling particularly discouraged by some division in his cast.
He was feeling ostracized and a bit hated on... and wanted to vent.
I asked him not to name names, but just to vent about how he felt. When he was done, he asked what he was supposed to do about all of it.
"Nothing." I said.
I explained that sometimes it's more important to remember that ours is a business of eclectic and passionate artists. We are all here to do a job, and to do it well. And the mere fact that we're all here together gives us more in common than not at this crossroads in our lives.
If I got my panties in a wad every time someone talked negatively about me, I'd have died long ago of anxiety and frustration if not downright depression.
I think rather that it's more important to put yourself out there and give no doubt as to why you're there.

I believe in standing up for what I believe is right, but I also pick my battles.

I don't think there is any drama worth losing your passion or your career. And I've come dangerously close to losing both. I left Southwest Shakespeare because it was leeching my passion for the craft. I can honestly say that after a season away, I miss it. Not the institution itself, but the poetry of the bard and the artistry of his work (and the people that share that passion). Walking away when I did was a decision I do not regret.
At times I've been threatened with my career either by association with less-than-reputable companies and/or individuals or just by being involved with theatre in general. It's no secret that there are people out there who have no love for me (either personally or professionally) and sometimes it's a challenge to deal with the mere knowledge that someone out in the universe harbors negative feelings towards me, let alone attempt to combat the attempts to discredit or subvert.

I haven't always been a believer in 'ignorance is bliss'. I used to be smack-dab in the middle of the gossip chain, always aware of the latest scandal or buzz in the theatre community.

It's fair to say that being at the middle of the scandalous subject matter can change one's perspective. It certainly did mine.

And the best advice that I can possibly give to anyone who is (or has been, or will be) in that position is to surround yourself with the people that love and encourage you. There is a certain amount of ignorance required. Actors and artists are sensitive people. Our 'work' is constantly being scrutinized and analyzed - by ourselves and the general public. We're often exposing psychological and emotional vulnerability to hundreds of people at a time. There is a reason why 'public speaking' is among one of the top fears of the general public. It can be nerve-wracking!

There are enough personal demons that we burden ourselves with, that I don't see the benefit of taking on the demons of others as well.

Right now, I'm struggling with playing a very unlikeable character in a show that deals with subject matter that is still sensitive to me personally. It proves to be even more difficult when you are a people-pleasing Pisces that wants to adopt the entire cast and feed them Thanksgiving dinner! Don't get me wrong... I LOVE playing an ambitious, driven, sexually-liberated bitch (regardless of her questionable methods). But it doesn't mean I don't still inwardly cringe sometimes as I spit out her venom.

I'm blessed in that this entire cast (without exception) has proven to be one of the most giving, loving, considerate and cooperative casts I've ever worked with. They are all amazing and uber-talented and I can't take that for granted for one minute.

It is experiences like these that revive my passion and my love for what I do. They don't happen with every show, and like any career, you will probably 'pay your dues' with some tedious and personally less-than-gratifying work. But when those projects come along that bolster and energize you, it's impossible not to embrace them with grand enthusiasm.

This show has been put together fast.
We started rehearsals a mere two weeks ago. We go into tech this week and have our first preview one week from Wednesday. Talk about a whirlwind!!
We had our first 'designer run-thru' on Sunday and I don't think anyone was completely satisfied with what we had, but I think we were all a little proud of what we had accomplished in such a short amount of time. Now that the backbone is stable, the rest is padding.

I'm excited about opening. I'm in awe of the work that everyone has done. From the leads to the ensemble, everyone is committed, honest, and a blast to watch! (and work/play with)

We're all here to do a job and we do it well. There is a lot of mutual respect in that room and I can appreciate that (in my old age) much more than I did ten years ago.

After a much-needed day off, I'm excited to go back and work again tomorrow. And THAT... is what it should be about.

Vent when you need to vent. But keep your head in the game. Respect what you are there to do and who you are doing it with. The rest... is easy.

Peace.

Treasure Every Moment

Okay, this blog is mostly for parents... so if you aren't one, feel free to go about your day without reading. You might be bored. (Though the concept I seek to express fits many other phases of life in general, so it's up to you.) :)

"Treasure every moment" is something I heard constantly as a young parent. I could be on line at the grocery store checkout with a tantrum-tastic toddler and a cranky newborn, hair askew in five different directions, skirt stuck in the waistband of my panties and mismatched shoes and inevitably some woman would approach me, sweetly smile at my screaming spawnlings and say, "Treasure every moment, dear. It goes by so quickly."

At the time, my reactions varied, but mostly I wanted to punch these women in the face and cry, "How can I treasure every moment? Can't you see I'm about to die of exhaustion and lack of sleep?! My hair is oily, my complexion shot and I haven't had a pedicure since my last trimester!!" Clearly, these women had no clue what I was enduring, weaning two babies still in diapers. They probably had nannies and housekeepers and personal chefs, which is why they were able to smile so sincerely, right?

Fast forward to two weeks ago as the kids started their Fall Break from school.

On one particular morning, the kids were getting up to go out with Jason and my still-sleepy daughter threw her cover-up into my hands. I promptly prepped it and slid it over her head... pausing to realize that it had been years since I had dressed my baby girl. Relative ages since I had spooned food into their mouths or played 'peek-a-boo'.

Last night, as my daughter and I were bonding over music - reminiscing about our 'mix CDs' from one of our many summers in Sedona, I started to think about the many phases of our lives together. From clothes to school to food to milestones to Anna Nalick's 'Breathe' and Tracy Bonham's 'Mother Mother'... I sometimes wish I had found my inner peace at a younger age, enabling me to truly 'treasure every moment' while it was actually happening.

The kids had a phobia of public restrooms when they were young because the doors were always heavy and locks were different. My daughter had once been locked into a bathroom at Oregano's. My son (at a fancy family-celebration at Melting Pot) took off his shoe and propped open the door of the men's room because it was heavy and he didn't think he could open it again without help. That too, was a temporary phase.

My kids are leaving today for Disneyland with their Aunt and Grandpa and two of their cousins. They've taken trips out of state before... road trips in-state, out of state, plane rides to Oregon and New York, etc. But after spending the past two weeks together (and me on a psuedo-break where I wasn't running to rehearsals every afternoon) their departure seems abrupt.

Last night, after dropping them off at their grandma's house, I was feeling particularly nostalgic. As I stopped to grab a couple of items at the store, I found myself eyeballing stylish diaper bags (I swore I could smell the combination of baby power and Desitin) and reminiscing about those crazy times when the only way to get my son to sleep was to put him in his swinging bassinet in front of a speaker and play the soundtrack to 'Cool Runnings'. (He loved the steel drums, I guess.) Or how much my daughter loved huge dill pickles when she was teething.

I was still in this fairy-land of times long gone when I noticed the young woman in front of me fumbling through a large bag for her wallet while balancing a screaming infant on her hip. We made eye contact and I sympathetically smiled and asked if she needed help. She managed to juggle her payment and collect her bags, giving me a grateful smile (presumably for caring or at least not losing patience).
I couldn't help myself, so I waited until she was still within earshot, but out of punching distance before I sweetly said, "Treasure every moment."

It does go by all too quickly.

'Richard II' callbacks

Okay, we had so much fun with the last one (and the controversy that our casting of Dane Cook caused) that we had to do another!
We do realize that it's sort-of elitist to only call back one actor per character... so, in the future, we've decided we will open up our minds a bit and expand our actor pool. Perhaps even engaging in online debates as to which of two or three actors you'd vote for in that role.

We don't really follow any rules with this... we started with casting only American film/TV actors, but found that there are always some exceptions to be made. So, I will say that we cast 'mostly' American actors, but every once in a while we will acquire guest artist contracts for foreigners.

In the meantime... here is our list of folks we'd like to see read the characters of Shakespeare's Richard II.


Richard, The Butterfly King: Neil Patrick Harris

This one is a no-brainer. Richard is a pretty-boy figurehead who is about to have his throne usurped by Bolingbroke (the cousin he banished). We can easily picture his pouty posturing as a politically incompetent playboy while he dresses down his elders with, "We were not born to sue, but to command." And who better to be stripped down to nothing but his vulnerable depositions, captivating us with every discovery as he laments, "I wasted time... and now doth time waste me." Oh, yes, Neil Patrick. Oh. Yes!

Queen Isabella: Isla Fisher

We needed the perfect Jackie-O bride for our lovely king and thus, the ethereal Isla Fisher was top on our list. It's questionable as to whether she has the chops for this one, but let's face it... I'd really like to see her try. We think she's capable of fretting appropriately over her politically persecuted husband - and her innocence makes their forced separation (and her banishment) woefully tear-jerking. And don't they make such the perfect royal couple? I mean, it doesn't get much prettier than these two.

Henry Bolingbroke: Liev Schreiber

Richard's hotheaded and devious cousin, determined to ascend the throne, could go to many of Hollywood's hotties. We'd like to let Liev sink his teeth into our seat cushions. He has to be physically imposing (enough to intimidate Richard into handing over his crown without more bloodshed) but compelling enough to make us sympathize with his dishonored state. He has to go toe-to-toe with Mowbray in combat early in the show, and his thirst for blood and power is exposed with his condemnation and execution of Richard's loyal followers. He's our heavy for this one. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, indeed...

Duke of Lancaster, John of Gaunt: Tobin Bell

Bolingbroke's brokenhearted father, ailing and soon to leave both realms for good, John of Gaunt has some pretty heavy stuff. He's one of the only few to warn Richard that his opulence will rob him of what he holds most dear. Bereaved brother, father, and uncle... we like the idea of Creepy McSaw getting a chance to dig into something meatier to play this very sick and very angry Poppa to our Simmering Schreiber. So far, so good.

Duchess of Gloucester: Anjelica Huston

The play opens with Duchess G having been recently widowed. (And the rumor is that her twerp of a nephew [Richard] was somehow involved in the order for her husband's assassination.) She makes every attempt to incite Gaunt to avenge her husband's death, but when she doesn't get the resolution she seeks, she makes her exit in a whirlwind of mourning clothes and news of her impending suicide with, "Desolate, desolate, will I hence and die..." Her appearance is a short one, but Ms. Huston is our hands-down fave for a long-lasting impact from the weeping widow.

Mowbray: Mark Wahlberg

We're pretty sure this one will be controversial, but hear us out. The Duke of Norfolk (Mowbray) pops into Scene III to challenge Bolingbroke. I'd personally love to see Marky Mark do his funky bunch in battle with Schreiber. Not only that, but Richard interrupts and banishes him... and he dies in exile. We think he's not only capable of handling the honorable, but politically ignorant scapegoat; but he might even make us wonder if he was the one to snuff out ol' Thomas, Duke of Gloucester himself...

Edmund, Duke of York: Willem Dafoe

The Duke of York is not only John of Gaunt's contemporary, but he is father to Aumerle and walks a tenuous tightrope between the divided family loyalties. His generation has been all but snuffed out and these crazy kids are about to do the same to one another. He is one of the few peeks into the dehumanization of Richard from a sympathetic standpoint and Dafoe is our superglue to this shattered family. Especially when he goes toe to toe with his son on the subject of family loyalty and survival... after being appointed Lord Governor of England while Richard was out of town... Lots of ssssssymbolism here.

Duchess of York: Frances McDormand

Duchess Y is really the only functioning 'mother' we see in this play as mother to Aumerle and wife of York. She's also our brief relief as she pleads with Bolingbroke to spare her son's life (successfully). McDormand is our tongue-in-cheek President of the PTA, convincing us that all it takes is a passionate parent to intervene and crisis can be averted. She's our fast-thinking, quick-talking Queen Bee.

Aumerle: Sam Rockwell

Fiercely loyal to Richard (and a favorite cousin of the king) we think Rockwell is the perfect patsy to do as he's told and take the path of least resistance. It won't stop him, however, from playing both sides once it's obvious that Cousin Henry has the power and Richard is on his way out. One might argue that he has the best of intentions, but we think Aumerle just might be following the fame and fortune... we wonder which way Mr. Rockwell will swing on that one.

Earl of Northumberland: Morgan Freeman

We wondered who would play our rooks in this political chess game. The answer was simpler than we anticipated. Of the first to come to mind, Morgan Freeman as the savvy Earl who loathes the way Richard is misusing his authority to punish family and reward the corrupt hangers-on. Having proved his worth, marching troops into France at the age of 18, he served Richard in military, diplomatic, and administrative capacities only to be dismissed when he voiced dissension with the king. We want to see him at the walls of the castle, addressing the nervous Richard with his honey-tongued discourse. Mr. Freeman lends legitimacy as the senior protector of the Scots.

Young Percy (Hotspur): O'Shea Jackson (Ice Cube)

That's right. We went there. If Wahlberg gets a cameo, then we may as well open up the floodgates for our fave West-Coast-Rapper-turned-Actor. We can so clearly see a slightly condescending Freeman delivering, "Have you forgot the Duke of Hereford, boy?" only to be met with Cube's, "No, my good lord; for that is not forgot which ne'er I did remember: to my knowledge, I never in my life did look on him." It might take a workshop or two to rid him of his typical staccato speech pattern, but we think we can pull some Hotspur out of his NWA.

Lord Ross: Billy Bob Thornton
Lord Willoughby: Ed Norton

Who would you NOT want to piss off if you were king? These guys. Underrated roles that pack a punch, Ross and Willoughby are tight with Northumberland and don't like sitting back and watching while Richard abuses the surrounding nobility. They both become supporters of Bolingbroke, making his army that much more badass. First rule of treason...


Bushy: Jason Schwartzman

One of Richard's three favorites and a 'caterpillar of the commonwealth', we love to hate Jason Schwartzman. We can easily see him whispering in the kings ear while picking the pockets of the poor and we need not suspend disbelief to see him hightail it outta there when things get hot. What's more?... Execution scene!! Oh yes... we get to see Schreiber chew him out for leading the king astray before condemning him to die. Win - win.

Green: Ryan Phillipe

Again, because we love to hate him, and also because we want to see him crying along with Schwartzman, Phillipe is our pick for the second of the three gems tainting Richard's crown. The other leech that runs for safety only to be captured and executed for being a douche.

Bagot: Giovani Ribisi

Even douches deserve redemption and our pick is Giovani as the sole survivor of the three nogoodniks. He is the one who escapes to Ireland in an attempt to warn his king of the impending uprising, but is later captured and brought back to England for trial. He narrowly avoids the fate of his two contemporaries and is released after a year in prison... and since we like to root for Giovanni (even when he's playing a sleaze) we'll root for him here, too!

Bishop of Carlisle: Wallace Shawn

He is the bearer of much news, including that of Mowbray's death fighting in the crusades, but we love Carlisle best for stepping in as Richard attempts to ascend the throne with, "Marry, God forbid!... if you raise this house against this house, it will the woefullest division prove that ever fell upon this cursed earth." Shawn is our beloved soothsayer of the juju, making us cringe and cry when he's imprisoned for treason. Treason? Inconceivable?!

Sir Exton: Jason Mewes

"From your own mouth, my lord, I did this deed."
We're offering a redemption cameo to a fellah we believe can be single-handedly responsible for 'burying the hatchet', so-to-speak; bringing Richard's dead body to a shocked (and instantly remorseful) Bolingbroke. Mewe's is our advantageous idiot-in-waiting and we don't feel bad about being pissed off at him. Hell, it's the end of the play anyhow. He's banished. And that's just fine with us. :)

And there you have it. Sit back... and discuss.
We had fun putting it together. Feel free to throw out suggestions for the next Shakespeare show. Maybe we'll make it through the whole canon!

The 'King Lear' you'll never see...

In our spare time, Jason and I like to take some of our favorite plays and make up our 'dream cast'... or at least a cast of characters that we'd love to see in roles. (Sometimes just for the train wreck we imagine would ensue!)

This morning, we arbitrarily cast an American film version of 'King Lear' that is both contemporary and unconventional. Our casting budget is unlimited, of course, and we rarely take into consideration reputation or 'diva' attitudes, since all celebrities are honored and humbled to work on a Barthson project. And so... The core characters are as follows:

King Lear: Clint Eastwood










Why Clint Eastwood? Because who wouldn't love to hear him growl, "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow! you cataracts and hurricanoes..." ?! As far as grizzled old men go, we think Eastwood is pretty high in the rankings. He can scare the crap out of us and have us crying over his fragility.


The Fool: Tim Roth

Ah, Tim Roth... not American, but since he has become such a sweetheart of American Television with his current contract for 'Lie To Me', we made an exception. He is engaging, intense and talented beyond belief. Who better to make us laugh and wrench our hearts as Lear's faithful and dogged companion? If you aren't convinced, check out youtube and his early portrayal of Gregor Samsa in 'Metamorphosis'. We're sure you'll see it our way. :)

Goneril: Charlize Theron

We know she has chops, but can she play the greedy eldest daughter of the aged king? We think so!! This time, we'll let her play a Monster that is still pretty on the outside, but rotten to the core. Scheming, advantageous and downright murderous, we like the idea of her poisoning our well.

Regan: Ashley Judd

Partially because we want to see these three play sisters, but mostly because they are (in our minds) underrated actresses... not the least of which would be the poor middle sister, advantageous and manipulative as she is... and no less scheming than her older sister, if a bit more clumsy about it at times.

Cordelia: Katherine Heigl

And finally, our dear Cordelia. Nothing humbles a film actress like being saddled with a classical role (and an iconic one at that) and so we believe that Heigl deserves a second-chance to show us all that she's got the chops (if not the street smarts) to keep up with her older sisters. We like her strong side, but we like her vulnerable side too... as the only one of Lear's daughters who is sincere and genuine in her love for her father.

Albany: Oliver Platt

Because we love him in classical roles and because he can play the dichotomy of 'master of my realm' and 'cuckold' so well, Albany (wife... er.... husband of Goneril) could be no other than our beloved Oliver.

Cornwall: Tommy Lee Jones

He has a great track record for hunting down fugitives, so who better to track down traitorous Gloucester and pluck out his eyes (presumably with his bare hands)? That's right, folks. Badass Tommy Lee himself. (He triumphed by a small margin over Terry O'Quinn of LOST.) Besides, as Regan's husband, we already know there's chemistry between he and Judd. Done deal.

Kent: Gary Oldman

Also not American, but as he says, "I am a gentleman of blood and breeding..." and our Master of Disguise, Mr. Oldman can not only morph from nobleman to peasant, but can easily convince us that there is honor among men with his tenacious loyalty. He's our chameleon to bring this play home... and we can't wait to see him take on Oswald!


Oswald: Kevin Spacey

We love Kevin Spacey! And what's better than Spacey? Spacey as a sycophant! The amoral servant of Goneril and the capable telescope through which we can see how twisted she and Regan really are. Not only would the combat between he and Oldman be epic, but Spacey can spin machinations... and still maintain loyalty to one true mistress.

Gloucester: Donald Sutherland

The legendary Sutherland, who can effortlessly match the requirements of 'Lord of the Court' while turning a blind eye (one each) to his own sons; one with the best of intentions - and the other, no better than the daughters he attempts to thwart from destroying his friend and mentor. We think ol' Donald is the perfect ignorant giant to fall gently.

Edgar: Ryan Reynolds

The 'good son'. Why Ryan Reynolds? Partially because he's hot. And funny. And I think funny guys are hot. Betrayed by his own father, Edgar goes 'on the lam' in an attempt to survive long enough to salvage what's left of his father's legacy. We think Reynolds can handle the task and have us rooting for him the whole way. Epic battle at the end of the show... I'm just getting started.

Edmund: Dane Cook

I'm sure some of you think we're off our rocker with these brothers, but let's face it... Dane Cook could TOTALLY be the bastard brother to Ryan Reynolds. And he's funny. And funny guys are hot. And what's better than an epic battle between two hot chicks? An epic battle between two hot dudes! It comes down to the fact that Dane can do smarmy and still somehow be compelling and frighteningly endearing.


So there it is, folks... the King Lear you'll never get to see. Just another Saturday morning at our home casting agency. You're welcome. :)

Bigots and Bullies

Recent news has been buzzing about what the media is calling a 'growing epidemic' and while the issue has had plenty of air time in the past few days, I don't see the harm in adding one more voice to what I hope is a growing cacophony.

Tyler Clementi probably didn't know what an impact he'd have or that he'd be the one to punctuate a string of publicized suicides linked to sexuality and/or bullying.

Two thirteen-year-olds, a fifteen-year-old, and a nineteen-year-old have committed suicide. Countless children have returned home with cuts, bruises, and even broken bones as a result of being different.

Different from what?

I was bullied as a kid. I was thin and awkward. I sang and danced in public. I talked to myself. I picked an animal a day and would gallop, trot, hop, lope to school in the style of that animal. Yup. I was THAT girl. By Junior High, I was a little more aware of what was socially acceptable, but it didn't stop me from being me. By High School, I was being groped by guys in the halls at school and pushed, hit, kicked, and tripped for any and every infraction from talking to some girls boyfriend to befriending someone that someone else hated. It was brutal.
But then I have to stop and think about the times in my life that I've victimized someone else. Times that I have been the bully. I'm loathe to admit it, but there are many.
Several of the neighborhood boys and girls were afraid to cross my path and I took on many a kid much smaller than myself in the name of defending or avenging my younger brothers. Not only that, but as an adult, there have been times that I've taken advantage of or talked smack about or just plain intimidated someone for no reason but to make them as miserable as I am at that moment.

I've taken solace in the idea that every bully has a bully. I've passed that on to my children in the hopes that could understand the psychology of bullying early. We pass on that which is taught to us.

I was lucky in that I was raised by a Christian family. While my parents weren't that far removed from generations that tend to be a tad more bigoted, they were products of WWII veterans... having learned early what hate can do to an entire race or culture. I was a product of that "make love, not war" generation and a spiritual belief that taught the sanctity of life. From an early age, I was exposed to men with impeccably groomed eyebrows and women who wore a lot of plaid flannel. I suppose I was naive in that it never occurred to me that people would be bullied for their sexuality. Shoot, I didn't even know my own sexuality until I was mature enough to start thinking sexually. I had more than one Junior High or High School romance with a boy who later 'came out' as gay.
Just because I didn't witness the problem doesn't mean it wasn't there. It means I was spared the exposure. My children are not so lucky.

I think I was lucky in that my family taught me love and acceptance and tolerance for everyone. It sounds stupid and cliche, but one of the first songs I ever learned was "Jesus loves the little children". Even in my lifetime, I've seen a change in mentality from "red and yellow, black and white"... my children are half Scotch-Irish/German mutts and half Hispanic. I don't think there really is a black and white any more, which is beautiful and reflects a change in our respective cultures. Remember, desegregation in this country only began about 50 years ago.

It is my fervent hope that it doesn't take as long for us to learn to accept other cultures, religions and sexual orientations.
But I believe it starts at home.

I'll admit, I thought I might be in trouble the first time I was called to the school to discuss my daughter's inappropriate use of a racial slur. In fact, I was mortified... until the teacher explained that she heard my girl shout to another girl, "I am TOO a beaner!"
As I explained to the teacher, my daughter would not have known it was a racial slur. She had come home one day asking what a 'beaner' was. We told her that she was a 'burrito'... you know, white on the outside, brown on the inside. It made perfect sense to her 5-year-old mind and was no longer threatening, but a funny anecdote as an explanation to her heritage. We've always diffused situations with humor in our house. And while we've since emphasized the social concerns about using inconsiderate or 'slang' language in mixed company, I can't help but wonder if I have contributed in any way to the continued bullying from one generation to the next.

I don't think so.

My son has been bullied most of his life. He doesn't always know how to express himself and lacks the assertiveness that is required in this fast-paced, over-stimulated world to make himself heard sometimes. The bullying lessened from Elementary to Junior High and has lessened even more with his arrival at High School.
It gives me hope that our kids aren't as intolerant as we were at that age. It gives me hope that perhaps they're learning (earlier than we did) that more diverse friends are the recipe for a more diverse life. Perhaps they see the friendships and family relationships that flourish under the umbrella of unconditional love.

But if that's true, then why are our children still dying?

I do believe that it starts at home.
How we treat others has repercussions.
Call it karma, call it the 'golden rule', call it what you will. Our actions do have a butterfly effect. Good and bad, positive and negative, it is possible for one person to impact many. The lessons we've learned resonate with our children and our children's children.
Life is too short to ever have an 'us' vs. 'them' mentality. The demands of life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness are hard to come by as it is. The more globally aware we become as a society, the more we are going to be faced with those who are different from us. And the more opportunity we have to grow mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially.

Tyler Clementi deserved to live his life free and unpersecuted. As do my children. And yours.

There's no harm in loving one another.

Annnnd... this is why I suck.

So, Noises Off has ended and so has my first official 'week off' between projects.
And yet, it wasn't really a week off at all.
I have two bellies in progress and had a crapload of photo editing and CD burning to get done. On top of this, I'm trying to track down footage for a demo reel and an audio demo as well as capture footage and edit a music video for a local sketch comedy troupe. Oh, and I need to update my resume, get new headshots and work on some callback prep for next week.
Enter the children and my neglected mother who never hears from me when I'm knee-deep in shows...
And so the weekend culminates in trying to squeeze in 'family time' that has been missed, catch up on the goings-on, help with homework, grab a movie, etc.

Which brings me to my rant.
I suck. I had three invites to go do something with friends this weekend, but since we had the kids this weekend and had plans, I declined all three.
Every single one of them responded with variations of "lame".
I know that it is often meant within the spirit of levity, but I'm really tired of hearing how lame I am or how much I suck for opting to spend time with my family or deciding to go home to my kids rather than out to the bar/club/meeting place. (And I hear it fairly often as I go out socially very seldom.)
Now don't get me wrong, I love the hell outta my friends. But one aspect of the theatre is very diverse social circles. We bond with other artists that are twice or half our age that come from backgrounds vastly different than our own... or in some cases, incredibly similar... but a good majority of my theatre friends do not have children. Or spouses. And while I know plenty of married couples with children, I don't know if they get the same flak I do... or if they (unlike me) choose to go out every chance they get. Which I totally understand.

And I'll explain a little bit as to why.

I was a parent at the ripe old age of 18. I had two children by the time I was 20.
I watched my friends experience the social aspects of college life while I was working a corporate job and raising two infants. I drank for the first time on my 21st birthday and felt horribly irresponsible because I couldn't breastfeed my daughter for the next 24 hours.
My children were very young when I divorced and after another failed relationship, I found myself longing for the "party life" I felt that I had missed out on.
I started to get back into theatre when my children started Elementary School, and I discovered something akin to the life I felt I had missed out on when I rediscovered those social circles.
When Jason and I first started dating, we were out on the town regularly. Durant's, Gallagher's, Amsterdam, AZ88, BSWest, Charlie's, Pookie's, etc. etc. We partied with friends and we partied with friends of friends. And we drank. And drank.
There was more than one night when neither of us had any business driving and more than one morning that we prayed and thanked our lucky stars that we made it home (with no recollection as to how.)
As my kids got older, I realized (a little more seriously) what kind of responsibility I had to them. It's up to me not only to set the example, but to keep them safe from the trauma of getting a phone call that says their mother is in jail for a DUI. Jason and I made a pact to never again be in that situation and when we do go out, one of us is DD and sober at all times.
It's a phase that we talk about openly, but not without a bit of a sheepish blush. We were selfish and immature, really... not because we loved going out and being social, but because we were old enough to know better and we were not being responsible about it.

Another added element is that our kids are now teenagers. They are inundated with alcohol and drugs and sex on a daily basis and I believe it's my responsibility to teach them about moderation and control. In addition, I want to make sure that they become adults who know how to prioritize what is important to them.

Because we don't have the kids with us every day, we try to make the most of the time we have.
The weekends that they are with their dad, I try to catch up on work and chores so that I have more time with the kids without any distractions.

I get irritated and even downright angry when I send regrets and people give me a hard time. In many cases, I've heard "I have to work" and the response will be "Oh, bummer. Catch ya next time." But if I say, "We're doing a family night" I get "Lame!" or "You suck" or "Come out after they go to bed!" Um... they're teenagers. I go to bed before they do nowadays.

Why is it that my reason for missing out is less valid?

It's not that I don't want to go out with my friends. I love them. I have so much fun when I go out with them. We laugh. We stimulate each other. And I DO desire to spend time with each and every one of them more than they know.
I just prefer to get my time with them on weekends that the kids are at dad's or at a sleepover, or otherwise not sitting at home on their Facebooks and XBoxes while mom is out partying.
As much as I loved my 'life-of-the-party' persona, I bade farewell to her about five years ago and opted instead to try my hat at responsible parenting.
What's better is that I began to discover that I like spending time with my kids. They're kinda awesome. As they learn and grow and develop, I have so much fun with them. We laugh. We stimulate each other. And I desire to spend even more time with them. I love them. Not only because they're the fruit of my loins, but because they're phenomenal human beings. And sometimes, I admit, they don't want to spend time with me at all. But it doesn't stop me from going home after a show just to hover and offer backrubs and toe-pops. Lame, I know.

I'll admit that there have also been times in which I've turned down invites to spend time with Jason as well. We live together, work together, sleep together, and eat together, it's true. And sometimes after 9 or 10 years with someone, you forget how to play together unless you make time to separate and do so. We're not as good about it as we have been in the past, but we're trying to be better about making sure that we take time away from the stresses of daily admin and at least find one night a week that is just for us. I find an odd sort of comfort in the normalcy of snuggling with Jay to heckle a bad movie on Lifetime or to catch up on our shows. Some nights when the kids aren't home, we strip down to our underwear and play Rock Band until midnight. Those are some of my favorite nights. Dumb, I know.

I'm far too social to be a total recluse, and I'm smart enough to know that this existence is a phase nor more or less definitive than the one I transitioned out of years ago. There's a very good chance that once the kids are off to college, I'll become a raging alcoholic suffering separation anxiety and be out again every night. (I doubt it, but I acknowledge the possibility.) And once that happens, my friends will probably be pregnant or having babies and we'll be at odds yet again.

In the meantime, I make no apologies for where I find my solace and my sanctuary. Making a living in the arts and working no less than three jobs at one time is a chaotic existence already. I find a peace and comfort with my family that usually keeps me pretty well grounded.
It frustrates the hell out of my friends, but I don't mean it as any offense. It is simply the phase of my life that I'm in right now.
I went out to the movies last night for the first time in months with Jay, the kids and my folks. It was so nice to just be close to them.
And even though I suck... I don't think I'd have it any other way.

Another Closin' of Another Show

And so it ends...
This afternoon was the last performance of 'Noises Off' at Phoenix Theatre. What an awesome run!! We extended for four performances and had amazing and responsive audiences throughout the entire run. (Save for the few individuals that don't understand "farce" or the concept of a 'play-within-a-play'.)

It was an awesome experience. The cast was amazing... full of people that I have worked with before and every single one of which I would be honored to work with again.

And so... for a follow-up, the 'condensed' version of what I will miss about the show:

"Listen to the musicality of the Englishness." Matthew Weiner - First read thru
Lemons and bananas, turtles and doves "no, THEN you rim Tim!", parody lyrics, Debbie Gibson, pre-show YouTube, Cathy's Facebook, doors, bags, boxes, flowers, and Sardines. Vagina talk, bruise comparison, strategic taping. Heather, Jenn, Carla and Tiff. If you like it, then you ought to set your tea on it. Slim Shady? Old Navy? A ukulele? A bay leaf? A lady? A labi...a? A shelaylee.... Schelale... Sha... what the heck is a shelaylee?? Handles and dresses and zipper malfunctions, granny panties and LeeAndi... and riffin' on Cherry Tack or Merry Sack or Scary Flak or... NO BAG!!

sigh

In the next three weeks, I've got a few minor projects going, but will have some downtime before rehearsals start for 'Hairspray'. I'm uber-excited to start this one. Big time. Super big-time.

I feel very blessed.

Tomorrow is Doc's birthday, so Jay and I are having him over for dinner. We will hopefully catch up with my mom and PJ for dinner this week... and perhaps even take them out for a movie or something. I'll be able to spend time with the kids, which I've missed out on recently. It's days like these that I feel very blessed to be able to do what I love, but to also have time to spend with my family between projects is invaluable. And the fact that I don't have to crimp my hair again... is priceless.

Onward and upward, my friends...

Another job that you hope will last
Will make your future forget your past
Another pain where the ulcers grow
Another op'nin of another show.

And the premiere of 'Sister Wives' on TLC in a week. Like a magnet, I'm drawn. Really, reality TV? Damn you and your sister-wife temptresses!!

The Calm After the Storm - One Year Later

It has been a while since I blogged. Obviously the show has kinda owned my life lately, but I've loved being busy again.

It has been a year since I finished out my last season with Southwest Shakespeare Company. I said 'Goodbye' to Sandy, Richard and Amanda as they left for Chicago. Sandy... who had become 'Uncle Sandy' to most of us... and who had been a fixture in my life (and at Southwest) since my first show there in 2002. I miss him desperately.
And Richard... who had become lord of the guitar and king of 'The Den'... a liberal and enthusiastic director and a genuine and giving actor... and a great friend. Between he and Kaitlin O'Neal, I learned more about Shakespearean language and text and more about breaking barriers artistically than I had in probably five years combined.
I miss the weekly cookouts and Saketini nights with Jim, Doc, Keath, Erika, Stefan, Sandy, Richard, Amanda, Kat, Jay and I. And those that joined intermittently for discussions about various versions of various folios or how many euphemisms for sex there are in The Merchant of Venice vs. A Midsummer Night's Dream.
One thing that leaving Southwest did was separate us a bit more geographically as well as artistically. It also allowed us to pursue other ventures and find success in other venues. From that group of artists that we lived, cried, bled, ate and slept with for months on end grew Arizona Curriculum Theatre and Class 6 Theatre. I landed some amazing roles with Phoenix Theatre and had the time to venture into more voiceover work and training. (Arial classes are starting soon and I can't freakin' wait!!)

But yeah... I'm feeling some residual guilt that I always feel when work picks up. Being busy in the evenings and on the weekends means that I miss out on a lot of time with the kids. It also means that I'm exhausted at the end of the day and often am too tired (or have to be up early the next day) and miss out on dinners, drinks, and other social events with friends.

But nothing can compare with the fact that I love what I do and am blessed to be able to do what I love. I very much miss the people that became our extended family in the past several years, but I know our paths will cross again at some point... and hopefully sooner rather than later.

I am tired, but eternally grateful. :)

OMG, I'm like, so lame.

So I realized (too late) that like my last two or three posts are all about the new dog and the animals. Even I groaned when I scanned the titles of my recent posts.

Adding insult to injury, Jay and I spent a good deal of the car ride home railing against teenagers in cars on their cell phones... and that's when I had the epiphany.

I'm old. And boring.

I had an entire day off from the theatre for the first time in what seemed like ages. The only thing scheduled was one (relatively simple) photo shoot - after which, I fell into a blissful nap on the couch... open-mouthed and drooling down my own chin. I'm not even kidding.

Today, we met the kids for lunch and got a few projects done around the house. I have a show tonight and will be at the theatre basically all day tomorrow for a morning promo, a matinee and an evening show. There's just no way around it... when I'm not at the theatre, my life is boring. Or at least, not the glamorous/exciting/adventurous life I imagine it should be.

Then again, I've always got my stinky cheeses and my decent wine assortment to suggest otherwise. :)

The Zen Menagerie

Every once in a while, I catch an episode of 'Animal Hoarders'. It's tough for me to watch because I have such a bleeding heart for animals (specifically strays and rescues) and want to adopt them all myself. I see animal hoarders and think "a little too much whiskey or a dive off the mental deep-end and THAT could be me!"
I sit in rapt fascination, both intrigued and horrified at the lives these people live -which is, I suspect, the purpose of these kinds of shows.

So, there was a part of me that was not only resigned to losing two of our cats, but actually felt good about the manageable number of pets we had in the house. Three cats. That's it.

Or at least, it was.

About three weeks ago, we adopted another stray. This one, a dog. Her name is Roxie and she is a Sharpei/Doberman mix (according to the vet). She is an amazing animal. So smart and SO eager to learn. She loves to do tricks, is very treat driven, and has easily assimilated and transitioned us from 'pride' to 'pack'. The cats hate her tail and we have learned to put things at least 6 inches from the edge of the coffee table for that reason, but she's a snuggle-bug and insists on sleeping in our bed at night. I wake up with her puppy breath on my face often as she somehow manages to burrow under covers to get her head on one of the pillows. She has serious separation anxiety, but LOVES to take car rides. We take her with us when we're running quick errands and she always comes with us to Petsmart, of course.

I haven't been as good about her walks as I should be. I blame my show schedule for some of the difficulty, but it also has to do with my own laziness. I am hoping to add a little motivation by getting myself a decent pair of outdoor skates. I love (and miss) skating - and she's the perfect dog to take out on a pair of skates. I used to rollerskate as a kid with our basset hound... but alas, she would often trip over her ears, which made for a very slow-going journey.

So... we're up to four animals in the house (not including Jay or the kids)... wait... five.

I forgot about the turtle.
It's actually my daughter's turtle. She's had it for years - a red-eared slider that I suspect was illegal for her to own because it was smaller than 'allowed' when she got it. Not so much any more. We just invested in a much bigger tank and a new setup for the turtle as well... which isn't a big deal until we realized how cramped the old tank was and how unhealthy that poor turtle was. I'm glad it ended up transitioning here as it wasn't really being taken care of at 'dad's house'.

Three cats, a dog, and a turtle.
Oy vey.
No more.

I think we've reached an acceptable balance. No more additions or subtractions please. :)

And here's the photo tally:
Roxie, Benedick, Claire, Spartacus, and Ninja.

Nothing On

This is the final tech week for 'Noises Off' which opens this Friday at Phoenix Theatre.

The process has been a collection of paradoxes and opposites, being both overwhelming and effortless at the same time.
My role is not as demanding as most of the ensemble in the sense of physical exertion or lineload, but this is most definitely an ensemble play with each role independent on even the most minor interactions between characters. And the cast is brilliant.

Our Dotty Otley is played by Cathy Dresbach, a veteran of the stage and an icon to those of us who grew up with the Wallace and Ladmo Show. (Jodie of the Pink Berets, anyone?) Not only an amazing character actress, but an amazing dramatic actress, and just a generally cool cat. She's just amazing to watch.
Then there's Robbie Harper who directed me in The Will Rogers Follies back in 1999-2000 and choreographed me numerous times and with whom I just did Curtains at Phoenix Theatre.
In addition, I get the chance to work with Chris Williams and Maren Maclean who were both mentors in my first show with Southwest Shakespeare (Julius Caesar in 2001-2002).
This will be my third show with the formidable Joe Kremer... the first, we don't really speak of and the second we speak of all too often...
And after joining forces in Tartuffe at Southwest, Leeann and I are getting the chance to spread our combined wisdom backstage once again with LeeAndi Relationship Consulting Services. (Though we are lacking our beloved intern, Pete Good.)

This is my first time working with Matthew Weiner (Artistic Director for Actors Theatre) as our director as well as with Mike Lawler and Luke Young.

Working with Matthew has been challenging, but has also honestly been a blast. He's an actor's director, in my opinion, bringing specificity when it's needed but also allowing the actors a certain amount of freedom of interpretation and expression. He brought along David Vining as our dialect coach and I could honestly sit and listen to that man do dialects for hours. His ear for nuance is just uncanny.

And both Mike and Luke have been awesome to work with... both funny and giving actors that I'm really enjoying working with.

So yeah... it has been a great experience. Tech had its tense moments as all tech weeks do, but we made it out alive and everyone is still speaking to each other! (Though the sardines are a bit worse for the wear.) It's your typical bedroom farce with just about everyone losing their pants at some point and some pretty intricate prop juggling... not to mention a set that is pretty damned incredible. Every time I think about it, there's something else to get giddy about. (Forget that the soundtrack could have come from my own ipod!)

I'm so excited to finally get this show up and rolling, but I know I won't be ready for the run to end. It's a great crew, a great show and a great production. There's just something satisfying about the run of a good, solid comedy. As much as I love (and admittedly miss) my Shakespeare, I love my comedies and musicals. There are different levels of focus and intensity required for each of those three genres... and sometimes musicals and comedies seem to flow a bit easier through my veins. I'm not saying that they take more or less work... but it's a different kind of work... and it's the kind that doesn't always feel like work to me. I don't know if that makes any sense whatsoever, but hey... it's early in the morning during tech week, so don't expect me to make a whole lot of sense right now. I'm sleep-deprived and over-caffeinated!!

Also, if any of my peeps are reading this and want to see the show but don't think you can afford it, I have an 'arts card' that is reusable and good for 2 rush tickets at $10.00 each. You can only use it at 15 minutes prior to curtain, so it's not good for reserved seats... but there aren't really any 'bad' seats in the theatre, so it's worth it if you end up with a friend and a free night. Just call or text me and I'll hook you up. :)

Why I HATE banks...

I haven't had a normal, conventional bank account since around 2005.

Back in the day, our employer (MCI) had a direct-deposit program in which we got a credit/debit card that we used, but it wasn't linked to an actual checking account. Later, that company was acquired by Bank of America and we were required to have either a checking or savings account open to continue. We did... and stayed with BofA until they hiked up fees and changed their account structure... at which time, we decided to switch over to Wells Fargo.

Now Wells Fargo required that we have both a savings and a checking account with them but allowed us to get into the most basic account they had, which only had monthly fees of $8.00/mo. for checking and $3.00/mo. for the savings. Fees that would be waived if we transferred $25.00 into savings every month on autopay. Fine. No problem. I'm still a bit of a cynic, however, and don't like the concept of paying an institution $11.00/mo. to hold on to my money for me... only to have them tell me what to do with it. It just seems... strange. 99% of my banking is done online. I use my debit card and I have billpay set up for everything else. I go into branches if I have a cash deposit. That's it.

So anyhow... for the past 6-8 months, WF has been telling me that I qualify for an 'upgrade' on my checking account. I try (as politely as possible) to tell them that my current account more than suits my needs and that an upgrade isn't necessary at this time. I use every customer service and counter-sales technique I ever learned while working in communications. But these guys are mighty tenacious. I was getting daily calls from a personal banker... but all while I was in rehearsal... and alas, they are out of the office during my dinner break.

Imagine my surprise when I logged in this weekend to check my balance... only to find that TWO accounts had been opened and added to my login.

No one asked my permission or waited to talk to me in person. They just decided to open an additional checking and savings account. My 'upgrade'. No authorization required.

So I call... immediately.

After an incredibly insincere "OH, Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" (Puh-leeze, I'm an actress... I can tell when you're scripted.) The banker on the phone explains that the upgrade is 'automatic'... and now bumps up my monthly fees to $25.00 and requires minimum balances on both accounts of an additional $1000 in checking and $300 in savings.

WTF!!??

I asked her twice if it was a mandatory upgrade and she refused to answer me.

I explained (again, as politely as I could) that the only 'benefit' I could see to this upgrade is that Wells Fargo would make more money off of my accounts monthly and that I would have access to less of MY money at a greater cost to me per month. I asked her to explain why this would be a benefit to ME. She changed the subject.

I'm still fuming... which means I can't go into the branch right now. I would only end up demanding a manager and closing all of my accounts out of anger and indignation. (And I have too many automatic payments coming up in the next two weeks.) But I will have to go in there in the next day or two and try to find out how in the world someone is supposed to be able to protect themselves from the constant gouging and unauthorized account-opening. I hate that financial institutions have this much power and this much say. I was thrilled to hear about the judgment against Wells Fargo for posting transactions by largest dollar amount first instead of posting them chronologically. (They were doing this for nefarious purposes, trust me.)

Oh... and before they opened these new accounts for me, they ran a credit check. Without my knowledge or my permission.

I'm pissed.

I don't know much about the laws and policies regarding banks, but something tells me that this is NOT okay.

Banking should not be awkward. Just let me mind my business and my money and I'll ask for their help if and when I need it. Until then, it's not much work to maintain my measly balances. Certainly not worth more than what I already pay for the privilege of putting someone else in charge of watching my money.

Am I the only one that thinks this is ridiculous? Or am I just one step away from being one of those conspiracy-theorists with all of my liquid assets hidden under the mattress??


UPDATE: After three phone bankers and a branch manager, they actually let me keep my current accounts without any of their 'upgrades' and assured me that no changes would be made without my request. Grrrrrrrrr. But I'm calling it resolved. For now.

Drama and the DVR

Ever since I've known of their existence, I've been a devoted customer of the DVR. I never owned a TiVo, because we've always had Cox for internet and cable. (And not always by choice.)

Because rehearsals and shows are typically in the evenings, it's difficult to get into any given television series. Unless we are interested beforehand, we don't record the pilot episode and thus, we don't get reeled in like the rest of our 'normal' peers.

I'm in the midst of rehearsals for 'Noises Off', which opens in two weeks at Phoenix Theatre. For those that don't know much about the show, it's a British farce that follows an acting company for several months on their tour of 'Nothing On'. (A heavily prop-laden sex farce.) It is most definitely a comedy and has a cast of hard-hitting comedic geniuses... and me. I play the Assistant Stage Manager, and since the show revolves around the acting company, my role isn't a particularly demanding one. Rehearsals are a blast! I belly-laugh at least once every 30 minutes or so... as much for what is being said and done behind-the-scenes as is in the show.

Because it's a comedy (and a farce) it requires a bit more 'working energy' than most shows. (This isn't a real term, it's just something I made up.) But by 'working energy', I mean that you have to rehearse some things at 'show speed' in order for them to work. Physical comedy especially requires this kind of consideration or the timing is more likely to lag or get pushed when the variables of actor adrenaline and audience energy come into play.

And so, our rehearsals have a rhythm to them in which there are hyperbursts of activity followed by periods of talking things through and notating or working out changes in blocking or travel patterns. It can be akin to circuit training at the gym. Taking into consideration that the set is two stories with three sets of stairs... and one can appreciate the physical requirements of the cast. And we rehearse for about seven hours a day, six days a week.

As a result, I'm usually still pretty pumped when I get home from rehearsal. It takes a while for me to wind down, but I've got it down to a fairly standard routine.

Cue the DVR.

I have my shows. From So You Think You Can Dance to Hell's Kitchen to Top Chef to Project Runway... My routine has been to come home, strip off my smelly rehearsal clothes, perhaps pour a glass of wine... and watch my show (whichever it may be that day of the week.)

I was particularly looking forward to my post-rehearsal wind-down today because it is Wednesday. And Wednesday means performance night on SYTYCD. Woot.

Except for one thing...

My DVR had gotten backed up and ran out of space. One hour into my two-hour show.

Seriously, universe? Seriously, DVR?

It's the freakin' FINALE!! We're down to THREE!

After acting out a very intricate and angry pantomime (including the strangulation of my remote control), I realized that instead of winding down, I had indeed worked myself into a frenzy.
So much for getting to bed at a decent time tonight.

I'm left to watch Confessions of Animal Hoarders... which is only succeeding in working me up more. I think it might be time to resort to the wine. :)

That's farce! That's theatre! That's life.

So rehearsals have once again taken over my life.

Slightly more hours than a full-time job, I'm at the theatre for eight and a half hours (minus one hour for dinner break) seven days a week. And once again, I couldn't be happier.

The cast is amazing... not just in talent and experience alone, but really stellar people to boot. I'll admit to being a bit intimidated, but that takes a far second-place to the excitement. Luckily, I've been exhausted with the combination of starting school with the kids, working at home, and rehearsing for the entire second half of the day... so I have been able to avoid *most* of the annoying habits that begin to creep in when I get overanxious.

I'm confident with my lines, which makes all the difference in the world. The show is a fast-paced farce with a bunch of physical comedy, so it was difficult to get off-book for some scenes and they're still sketchy in my head, but once blocked, will make sense. Most of it has everything to do with timing.

I'm not as solid on my 'character' as I'd like to be (or typically would be this far into the process) but there's room for ambiguity in some sense, due to the sheer farcical nature of the play alone. I'd say that mine is one of the more minor characters, but when you're dealing with an 'ensemble' show like this, everyone is essential.

It's also a dialect show, so I get to watch the BBC for 'research', which is fabulous because some of my favorite shows are on the BBC anyhow. ('You Are What You Eat' and anything with Gordon Ramsay for starters.) Win!

My brain is fried, however, and I can't seem to get a handle on half of my other at-home projects in progress. They will most likely be on hold until production begins.

The new pup gets a little depressed when I leave, which is both sad and adorable. Having settled in, she's now testing boundaries and learning the rules. She definitely wants to learn and she's both food and affection-motivated, which makes her infinitely easy to train. Unfortunately, I'm not 'firm' enough with her. I don't get firm until I get frustrated and when I'm frustrated, I don't project the 'in control' energy I need to in order to get the results I'm after. At least, according to Cesar Milan... but I honestly think that he's successful because dogs know deep down that he can kick their ass. I don't have that advantage.

In the meantime, I'm off for another rehearsal. Act I is blocked and will be run today. (Woot!) The weekend will bring more rehearsals and a few photo shoots. (One being an engagement shoot that I'm super excited about!)

We open in three weeks. Holy crap.

Come see it. It's a laugh riot!!

Noises Off
www.phoenixtheatre.com

Sleep-Deprivation and the Snooze Button

So, I've had a bad case of baby fever lately.

And I mean... BAD.

In addition to turning 35 this year and having both of my children officially in High School, I've been around scores of pregnant ladies in the past year (with the increase in belly-casting and maternity photos) which has NOT helped.

I loved being pregnant. It was a double-edged sword in that my first pregnancy was unexpected and out-of-wedlock, so I felt more shame than joy through that process... except for the private moments in which I felt free to marvel in the miracle of life. Being married by my second pregnancy, I could then unabashedly enjoy being fat and uncomfortable in all of its rotund glory. And I did! Though my second pregnancy was physically more difficult than my first (borderline diabetes and toxemia through the second half) I still loved every moment of it. My first experience with suppositories was a result of being pregnant. Ah.... the good ol' days.

And so it is that my biological clock has been ticking. Loudly.

Now my lifestyle is NOT one that is conducive to having a newborn. I don't make enough money nor have good enough health insurance. My house hasn't been baby-proofed in over 8 years. I'd definitely have to take a break from theatre. (Save for the 4 months that I could capitalize on being a pregnant mom for commercials or print jobs.) But you get my drift...

With every milestone my children have reached, I've gained a new aspect of freedom and independence. I selfishly hoard that freedom and independence to binge on my passions and throw myself wholly into the play or the project that I'm working on. Not because my children have become lesser in priority, but because they are more independent and self-sufficient themselves. I can't imagine a job and a full-time theatre schedule with a newborn. Or even a part-time theatre schedule with a newborn. I did one show when my son was an infant. I remember wearing him in a papoose during rehearsals and either breastfeeding or pumping during breaks. It wasn't a 'bad' experience, but it was one that left me so tired and harried that I ended up taking about five years off from theatre after that.

In all of my wisdom and psychological analysis, I had decided about a year or so ago that I would effectively hit the 'snooze' button on my biological clock.

By getting a dog.

We attempted to adopt my brother's dog at one point, but the poor pooch hadn't really been exposed to living with cats and was far too aggressive towards our spoiled felines. And so we put it off until we could find the right dog at the right time.
Both Jay and I are advocates for rescue animals and we knew that it would probably take some time before we found the right rescue for our family. One that would be good with the kids and the cats... not too horribly traumatized or abused, young enough to have a decent number of years with us... I was starting to think that we weren't likely to find anything that suited our collective requirements. Until friends of ours ended up with a stray that they couldn't keep.

Our 'infant' is a mix of Sharpei and something else (we suspect Pointer or Doberman) and is assimilating nicely. The cats are slowly and gradually getting used to the excited energy of a year old pup in the house.

I, on the other hand, forgot how much I loathe being up at 6am on my weekend off.

The day after picking her up, we were at the vet with her for a full check-up... and aside from a dry coat and pads (from exposure), she's perfectly healthy. And the more comfortable and spirited she gets, the more sleep-deprived I am.

I wake up randomly when I hear the flap of the dog door or feel her stir in my bed. Rather than feeling the sticky fingers of a toddler, I wake up to a wet tongue on my face and dog breath.
Gross.

Instead of stocking the cupboards with Enfamil, rice cereal and Nilla Wafers, I have an entire cabinet full of pig ears, rawhide bones, and Pupperoni. For the record, those pig ears... both sticky and slick from the thin layer of grease/animal fat with the little hairs still stickin' out of 'em... *almost* as gross as nasty baby diapers. Seriously... the pooch loves them, but they are FOUL!

She is a snuggler. I can't keep her off the couch or the bed. She has to be where the people are (I'm sure part of this is just the adjustment) and she's housetrained, *almost* leash trained, and knows 'no' and 'sit'. (By default, if you tell her 'no', she'll sit automatically.) She's curious, but not aggressive towards the cats. Last week, she was introduced to a squealing baby and couldn't have been more gentle or precious to her. Anyhow, she's smart. And with some basic obedience training, she's gonna be super awesome.

We just have to work on this early-in-the-morning thing.
And keeping her out of the cat food.
And the cat poop.
And my shoes.


Well, at least I don't have to breastfeed or hire a sitter when we go out to dinner tonight!
It's the little victories. ;)