The 'King Lear' you'll never see...

In our spare time, Jason and I like to take some of our favorite plays and make up our 'dream cast'... or at least a cast of characters that we'd love to see in roles. (Sometimes just for the train wreck we imagine would ensue!)

This morning, we arbitrarily cast an American film version of 'King Lear' that is both contemporary and unconventional. Our casting budget is unlimited, of course, and we rarely take into consideration reputation or 'diva' attitudes, since all celebrities are honored and humbled to work on a Barthson project. And so... The core characters are as follows:

King Lear: Clint Eastwood










Why Clint Eastwood? Because who wouldn't love to hear him growl, "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow! you cataracts and hurricanoes..." ?! As far as grizzled old men go, we think Eastwood is pretty high in the rankings. He can scare the crap out of us and have us crying over his fragility.


The Fool: Tim Roth

Ah, Tim Roth... not American, but since he has become such a sweetheart of American Television with his current contract for 'Lie To Me', we made an exception. He is engaging, intense and talented beyond belief. Who better to make us laugh and wrench our hearts as Lear's faithful and dogged companion? If you aren't convinced, check out youtube and his early portrayal of Gregor Samsa in 'Metamorphosis'. We're sure you'll see it our way. :)

Goneril: Charlize Theron

We know she has chops, but can she play the greedy eldest daughter of the aged king? We think so!! This time, we'll let her play a Monster that is still pretty on the outside, but rotten to the core. Scheming, advantageous and downright murderous, we like the idea of her poisoning our well.

Regan: Ashley Judd

Partially because we want to see these three play sisters, but mostly because they are (in our minds) underrated actresses... not the least of which would be the poor middle sister, advantageous and manipulative as she is... and no less scheming than her older sister, if a bit more clumsy about it at times.

Cordelia: Katherine Heigl

And finally, our dear Cordelia. Nothing humbles a film actress like being saddled with a classical role (and an iconic one at that) and so we believe that Heigl deserves a second-chance to show us all that she's got the chops (if not the street smarts) to keep up with her older sisters. We like her strong side, but we like her vulnerable side too... as the only one of Lear's daughters who is sincere and genuine in her love for her father.

Albany: Oliver Platt

Because we love him in classical roles and because he can play the dichotomy of 'master of my realm' and 'cuckold' so well, Albany (wife... er.... husband of Goneril) could be no other than our beloved Oliver.

Cornwall: Tommy Lee Jones

He has a great track record for hunting down fugitives, so who better to track down traitorous Gloucester and pluck out his eyes (presumably with his bare hands)? That's right, folks. Badass Tommy Lee himself. (He triumphed by a small margin over Terry O'Quinn of LOST.) Besides, as Regan's husband, we already know there's chemistry between he and Judd. Done deal.

Kent: Gary Oldman

Also not American, but as he says, "I am a gentleman of blood and breeding..." and our Master of Disguise, Mr. Oldman can not only morph from nobleman to peasant, but can easily convince us that there is honor among men with his tenacious loyalty. He's our chameleon to bring this play home... and we can't wait to see him take on Oswald!


Oswald: Kevin Spacey

We love Kevin Spacey! And what's better than Spacey? Spacey as a sycophant! The amoral servant of Goneril and the capable telescope through which we can see how twisted she and Regan really are. Not only would the combat between he and Oldman be epic, but Spacey can spin machinations... and still maintain loyalty to one true mistress.

Gloucester: Donald Sutherland

The legendary Sutherland, who can effortlessly match the requirements of 'Lord of the Court' while turning a blind eye (one each) to his own sons; one with the best of intentions - and the other, no better than the daughters he attempts to thwart from destroying his friend and mentor. We think ol' Donald is the perfect ignorant giant to fall gently.

Edgar: Ryan Reynolds

The 'good son'. Why Ryan Reynolds? Partially because he's hot. And funny. And I think funny guys are hot. Betrayed by his own father, Edgar goes 'on the lam' in an attempt to survive long enough to salvage what's left of his father's legacy. We think Reynolds can handle the task and have us rooting for him the whole way. Epic battle at the end of the show... I'm just getting started.

Edmund: Dane Cook

I'm sure some of you think we're off our rocker with these brothers, but let's face it... Dane Cook could TOTALLY be the bastard brother to Ryan Reynolds. And he's funny. And funny guys are hot. And what's better than an epic battle between two hot chicks? An epic battle between two hot dudes! It comes down to the fact that Dane can do smarmy and still somehow be compelling and frighteningly endearing.


So there it is, folks... the King Lear you'll never get to see. Just another Saturday morning at our home casting agency. You're welcome. :)