New Routine (Day 2)

Went further today, but didn't run. Kept it at a brisk walk. My calves are a little tight today, indicating that I probably need to stretch more. Mental note taken.

I've been thinking a lot about Scotty J.
He was a wonderful human being and a tremendous talent in our theatre community. He passed very suddenly on Saturday night and the entire extended theatre family is still reeling from the loss.
I never got the chance to bond with Scotty as castmates often do over common projects. I met Scotty at karaoke several years ago... and then again at auditions... and again through common friends over drinks... until we just naturally greeted each other with a hug or a smile and a 'weenky-face' across a room. He was always gracious, never pretentious.
I've slowly realized that my relationship with many people in the theatre community doesn't extend much further than my relationship did with Scotty.
I'll make a sincere admission that I keep people at arm's length... emotionally, personally, etc. Sure, I share stories and quips and anecdotes about my life, but I typically don't get 'close' to people. Perhaps some of this stems from a lifestyle in which my 'co-workers' change every two months or so. Perhaps some of this is a result of disappointments or perceived betrayals. Regardless the reason, it's not my preference.
As friends move away and acquaintances leave this life before they're given the chance to be friends; I'm humbled by those who have touched my life, however fleeting it may have been. For a while now, I have viewed every relationship as a potential heartbreak. If I don't get close, I won't grieve the loss when they're gone. But it also means I don't celebrate them while they're here.
To my friends who have reached out and made the greatest of efforts to keep me in your life (even though I don't call, don't return emails, or don't show up), I sincerely apologize for being such a shit. I have been hurting and grieving over the last two years or so and it has affected every relationship I have and has prevented relationships from healing and/or growing. My 'self-preservation mode' really is nothing more than selfish. I do get busy with work and the kids and my sincere desire to have our personal 'family time', which has become sacred to me. But I can certainly make more of an effort than I have been lately. Especially to those friends who have been so near and dear to me through such rough times.
Jason, Kaitlin, Richard, Nathalie, Amanda, Mandy, Roland, Trey, Doc, Jimmy P, Keath, Erika, Rachael, Johanna, Tracy, Franc, Geoff, Ammy, David and Christina... I love you guys so much. Thanks for sticking with me... even when I'm an asshat.
Day Two.
Done.