Animal Instincts

So, we're pretty sure we know what happened to our beloved Sawyer.

Without going into graphic detail (to spare you fellow animal lovers) we have discovered the one and only problem with our beloved new neighborhood...

coyotes.


They aren't common on our side of the development. In fact, I've never seen one. The way our neighborhood is set up, it's actually two complexes combined into one... and the west part of the neighborhood has community dumpsters, which apparently attract the nasty, hateful creatures.

Many of the residents have spotted either the coyotes themselves or the tell-tale detritus left in their wake. I had no clue.

Now, I had already cried over the loss of Sawyer. Even though Jason had told me not to be so hasty and fatalistic, I still ended up on the floor of my bedroom mourning the loss of my 'baby panther' after about 24 hours of his absence. Upon hearing about the coyotes and the most practical and logical explanation to his disappearance, my tears were renewed and I grieved all over again.

On one hand, I'm devastated. He was part of our family.
On the other hand, he had a long and full life with us. He wouldn't have lived past his first year if we hadn't adopted him and gotten him the surgery he desperately needed. It's also not like he got old and just stopped functioning. He was probably stalking birds or lizards and ended up in the wrong part of the neighborhood. He would have gone down fighting, but he would have gone quick. There is some solace in that.

For the person who has a hard time saying 'goodbye'... I've watched our pride dwindle down to three. It feels like something is missing. Especially in the mornings when there is one less warm spot on the bed... one less voice raised in protest over how late I'm feeding them. One less bundle to snuggle on my lap whilst I blog or edit or sing...
It has affected the other cats as well. They are sticking closer to home and are slightly more needy and affectionate than usual.

None of the other cats will eat out of Sawyer's side of the food dish.

It breaks my heart.

I see litters of feral cats about every six months around the dumpsters in the development. I get angry at irresponsible pet owners who allow these cats to breed and overpopulate the area.

I also find it irritatingly ironic that these 'wild' cats with no human family to love them probably have a better survival rate against coyotes than the spoiled, soft, domesticated ones.

It's not like there's anything I can do about it... but I still found myself moping around all day in a bit of a depressed funk.

In addition, we've decided that while we want the cats to have tags and identification, we will remove the 'jingle bell'. While it is a great deterrent to them catching birds, it could prove to be a disadvantage if they ever find themselves hiding from coyotes. I'm probably being a bit obsessive and over-analyzing, but hey, that's what I do.

So yeah... speaking of over-analyzing... I had my general audition for Broadway Palm. I felt great going in. My music was prepped well, I knew my monologue(s) forward and back... but I really didn't need them. My first 16 bars didn't suck, 'cuz they asked for another 16. After that, they kept me for the dance callback.

Again, if I look at the glass as half-full, I'm blessed and thankful that I still look (to some) young enough and fit enough to get thrown into a dance callback with all the 20-somethings. However, cynical/acerbic Andi would like to someday walk into an audition and have them give me the option to monologue-for-my-life instead of dance for it. I would rock that shit out. OR... if they'd only let me dump the conventional choreography and instead perform my interpretive dance to 'It's a Wonderful World', I could ultimately prove my comedic value.

I acknowledge dance as the weakness in my triple-threatedness. I need to do what any professional would do in this situation and get my ass into some classes. PT's 'Summer of Dance' and the Fred Astaire studio are going to be my friends in the coming months. (Though I'm sure my body will say otherwise after Molly and Robbie put me through my paces.)

So, I guess the 'lesson' in the past couple of days has been about following instincts, acknowledging weakness, and accepting the natural progression that is life... even if it means losing a beloved pet to coyotes.

sigh