Adventures in Little Rock - Vol. 1

It is a little-known fact that actors have to be able to travel - and travel well - on occasions.
We often book gigs out of town, which means that just like any businessman (or woman), we end up with our own processes of packing (often bringing just the barest essentials) and operating from a foreign location.

I was thinking about this as I packed my two suitcases to the absolute brim with enough clothes to make it through a couple of weeks as well as my "show gear" which includes my entire makeup case, rehearsal shoes, tights, 'show bras', script, music, etc. Now, while I've gone out of town to do shows before, I think this is actually the longest out-of-town run that I've done to date. I have been spoiled rotten.
True to form, I overpacked.
Not only do I actually have enough clothes (I packed a ton - including more panties than I even knew I owned) but I also packed my laptop, my video camera, my still camera, two research books for a project I'm writing, five fiction books, my knitting, scores of sheet music (to whittle down for season general auditions this year), six pairs of shoes, a blow-dryer, two curling irons and a flatiron.
BOTH of my suitcases required a good amount of pushing, pulling and sitting to get them comfortably closed and secured. In addition to that, it was clear that one of my bags was quite obviously over 50lbs. (The weight limit for United's luggage policy.) I packed and repacked to redistribute some of the weight, but it just wasn't working. I could tell that the larger suitcase was over 50lbs, but there was nothing I could do. I hoped beyond hope that I'd end up in a long line with impatient TSA agents who didn't want to weigh them, but figured I'd be paying through the nose once I got there.

It was 6:30am on Monday when Jay dropped me off at the airport. With my heavy bags and such, I figured it'd be easier to let the skycap at the curb hook me up, so as Jay and I said our goodbyes, I made eye contact with the tall, handsome fellah at the counter - indicating that I was gonna be moving his way next. He asked where I was headed and set about checking me in as he grabbed the larger of the two bags. I watched his face as he lifted it and our eyes met at that instant - there was no way to hide the fact that I knew the bag was heavy. I knew. He knew I knew. There was no way out.

And so he said, "You're aware of the fees for checking bags?"
And I said, "Yessir. If I could have fit it all into one bag, I would have."
And he said, "Well, this one feels like it might be a bit overweight."
And I said, "Sssshhhhhh! The bag will hear you!"
Then I continued, "You see, my luggage is simply experiencing the sympathetic symptoms of MY being overweight and 'between sizes' right now. Something I hope we'll both be able to remedy in the upcoming weeks. I certainly don't want my baggage being penalized because of my baggage."
(ending with a wink and a flash of the Watson smile - complete with dimples)

He charged me for my two bags. No overweight baggage fee.
God bless that beautiful black man and his sense of humor/pity on a poor actress.

And so I was on my way! I made it through security without TSA pawing through my backpack or feeling me up. Which is kind-of a disappointment. I got so used to having my carry-on handchecked at security that I started putting random items in my carry-on just for fun. Nothing contraband... just goofy or odd. Like a random pair of panties - which is actually practical in case you DO get separated from your luggage - or a single sock, a bizarre book, etc.

Since I printed my boarding passes online and flew through security without any trouble, I had about an hour and a half to kill before boarding. Enter my favorite airport game: People Watching!!!
Unfortunately, the pickings are pretty slim at 6:30 am. The usual business travelers - identified by their business suits and lack of luggage (save for the leather overnight bag or the custom case for their laptops), the occasional families or couples dotting the hectic-yet-barren landscape, and the random cute kid here and there.

I quickly grew bored and decided to pop open my book instead. Just as I was engrossed in the story before me, a woman stopped directly in front of me. I saw her boots first and looked up to see a slender woman in her 40's who looked like a cross between Joan Jett and Stevie Nicks. Skinny jeans tucked into knee-high caramel boots, layered tanks and a black leather jacket. Our eyes met and she gave a 'Hrmph', turned on her heel, and walked away briskly.
"Hrmph?" What did that mean?
She had a curious inflection, as if to say, "Well, isn't that strange/interesting/bizarre?"
I looked around, but no one else was close by.
I dismissed it as a case of "she-thought-I-was-someone-else" syndrome and let it go... but obviously I'm still puzzled by the random stranger 'Hrmph-ing' at me.

We boarded without incident (this was the first leg of my flight from Phx to Denver to Arkansas) and I ended up in an aisle seat.
To my left (across the aisle) was a mom with a 4-month-old baby. I groaned inwardly, and felt guilty for it when the baby turned out to be a champ of a li'l traveler. He fussed for all of 30 seconds before mom popped a bottle in his mouth and rocked him to sleep.

To my right was a (very) large woman who was occupying both of the seats next to me. Both the window and the middle seat were taken up by her right and left butt-cheeks, respectively. I gave a friendly 'Hello' as I sat down. She somehow said 'Hi' without moving her mouth and promptly gave me her back as she fiddled with the window shade.
About five minutes into our flight she opened her carry-on and started munching on the foulest smelling corn nuts EVER. I decided to try to nap and let my head loll attractively to my left side so as to avoid drooling over my seatmate should I fall asleep.
I began to doze, but woke to the announcement of beverage service just as the party gal to my right was opening a package of licorice.
Now, having been a hefty girl myself for a good period of time, I'm generally not concerned with the eating habits of others. At my top weight, I was 209lbs. I ate when I was anxious, stressed, lonely, bored or sad. I understand how easy it is to let bad habits spiral and how hard it is to face the disappointment or condemnation of loved ones and strangers alike. (I replaced comfort-eating with comfort-smoking, so it's not like the underlying issues magically disappeared in my life. I certainly ain't no poster child for healthy living.)
HOWEVER, I watched this lady eat cornnuts, Red Vines, Chips, cookies, and what looked like a Moon Pie (I love those!) within the first 15-20 minutes of our flight. I dozed off again and was again woken when the flight attendant reached past me to hand my traveling companion a Coke. She looked at it, frowned, and handed it back to the gal with, "No, a DIET Coke, please."

I didn't mean to, but my mouth gaped open before I was conscious that I was now staring at her. I'm sure my face had the expression of, "Really?" I almost laughed out loud in spite of myself.

I'm a judgmental asshole, I know.

And while I'm on the subject... While waiting at the Denver airport to board the flight to Little Rock, my darling friend Lillian arrived and saved me from boredom with cheery chit-chat and catching up on the last few months since we've seen each other. We were deep into our gossip session when a woman in her late 40's to early 50's skipped by - yes, skipped - wearing green running shorts (circa 1970) white tube socks with a green stripe at the top (also circa 1970) a white T-shirt and pigtails. Yes, pigtails... adorned with curly green and white ribbons. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and explained to Lillian that she must be a Girl Scout troupe leader. It is cookie season, after all. I don't know if she's eligible for 'fashion forgiveness', but I do have to applaud her for her ability to skip through an airport without a care in the world. Even if I raised an eyebrow at her choice of hairstyle, I had to smile at the real-life 'Baby Jane' phenom.

We arrived in Little Rock on-time and were greeted by some of the friendliest production staff ever - and some of the unfriendliest storm clouds. It was rainy and cold, but there was still a buzz of energy in the air as we met new friends, reunited with old ones and set off to embark on the adventure that is 'Hairspray' in Arkansas.

So far, the cast is incredibly gorgeous - and they sound as good as they look!! Everyone has been so friendly and open-armed that it feels like coming home, even though I'm in a foreign town. I miss the kids, I miss the cats, I miss the dog, I miss my bed... and I would miss Jason, except for the fact that I've found a suitable replacement here in the South...

Sweet tea.
Glorious, delicious, refreshing, make-my-mouth-so-happy-I-want-to-bathe-in-it, nectar of the gods.

Sweet tea is my new BFF.
At least for the next nine weeks. :)


Stay tuned for the next chapter in the continuing saga. Or don't.
(It's not like I'll know.)
Peace and pigtails, friends.