My Birthday... it's the shit.

Disclaimer: I have a conservative family that does not frequently use curse words. For the sake of this blog, however... I will be frequenting the word 'shit', both in the fecal translation and the contemporary slang for 'stuff' or 'things'. I mean no offense... only sophomoric humor.

That being said, my family... for as conservative as we may be in some ways... is incredibly 'open' in others. We have never known censorship or humility when it comes to bodily functions and speak openly about color, form, consistency, weight, odor and ingredient. With four kids sharing a bathroom, we became quite close... and gross.

My brothers have been known to take pics with camera phones and send them to family members when they are particularly proud or astounded by their fecal creations. My boyfriend is both awed and disgusted by my "poop humor", but is slowly being inducted into the fold of the unabashed. Slowly. And reluctantly.

And so it was, that I was on the toilet... after a 6-show week in which I had thrown out my back. I couldn't quite get my arm behind me and had to twist (which was painful and awkward) in order to merely wipe my own ass. After turning my adjustable showerhead into a makeshift bidet, I mused that it was almost 35 years ago when my mom wiped my butt for the very first time.

And then I felt it... age. Like a poltergeist or a lingering spirit of energies past, the last 35 years crept up my spine and weaved its tendrils throughout my limbs and joints before settling into my under-eyes, jowls, boobs, butt, hips and lower intestines.

My left ear is recovering from an infection that perforated the eardrum. My skin is awful from regular applications of greasepaint and sweat. My reconstructed left jawbone aches, my back is a mess and my knees are thrashed from so many years in character shoes.

And so it is that I take stock of my life and what I've accomplished and acquired. How much of it is quality and how much of it is.... shit? And where do I need to be in order to focus on more quality shit rather than the empty shit that just feels good at the time?

Holy crap. I'm starting to feel like I'm in my 30's.

But hey, I'm still ticking!... and shitting regularly. Concord Brown.

Some things never change.