I can't believe we've reached the end of another year.
And I'm still here.
2013 was a year of resolutions. Not the kind of resolutions usually proclaimed on January 1st. I didn't lose weight, I didn't quit eating crap, I didn't work out more, I wasn't nominated for a Tony.
I saw closure on issues that had been unresolved for decades. Issues that had slowly chipped away at my confidence and feeling of competence without me even realizing it. I've been approaching life with a compounded feeling of trepidation each year - not sure what life would throw at me, and without the confidence that I could handle it.
A collaboration that has been in the works for the better part of this year saw it's first round-table reading, and prompted the start of two more scripts. Writing more has meant blogging less, so none of this has been without sacrifices, but it has been a progression of small victories for me.
I didn't get out to a lot of the auditions I would have liked to. In fact, I didn't get out much this year at all. Save for theatre pilgrimages to Little Rock and Phoenix for shows, I frequented my local haunts (the beach, the neighborhood, farmer's market)... but mostly the inside of my condo. (Or glued to my laptop on the patio. Sorry... lanai.) It has been lonely... but as my support circle grows one person at a time, I can't help but be bolstered by the people who believe in me.
I have no idea what 2014 is going to bring, but I can only feel hope in place of the usual hesitation. My old sense of adventure is beginning to return as I shake off the weight of the past and look forward to the unknown.
We've made it this far.
Bring it on.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
The Season of (not) Giving...
Just as a disclaimer: This is not a feel-good Christmas post. That'll come later. Today it's another political rant. I'm feeling feisty.
I like to be up-to-date on current events, but I don't watch network news. (*Unless I know someone on the show - usually theatre or event promos, serial killer friends... that kind of thing.) I scour the internet for sources from the far left, the far right, and the obscure, because I believe in the merit of "his side, her side, and the truth" ...in most cases.
The danger of getting most of my news from the internet is that I am easily persuaded by passionate arguments on everything from saving the Mexican Grey Wolf to ending bullying to anti-GMO campaigns and budget cuts to education/arts/welfare... you get the picture. I end up on ALL the email lists.
During one quarterly cleaning of my inbox, I discovered that every email from any 'cause' I'd ever cyber-joined led to politics or money. Usually both.
There seem to be two primary categories. The first, a crowd-funded grass-roots campaign to build this or preserve that, usually with specific objectives and collective accountability on how funds are to be used. The second is the 'campaign' or 'committee' dedicated to wiping out this or fighting that. Primarily political, and focused on combating corporate funding of this or that initiative.
Sometimes it's small... a little link at the top or bottom of the email. Sometimes a shiny little radio button with 'DONATE' in an attractive font. Sometimes it's the entire body of the email. But it's always there. "Support our cause - with your money."
I'll use Al Franken (U.S. Senator, Minnesota) as an example of the second/latter category. (In full disclosure, I'm on his mailing list - and not because I think the guy is an asshat. But he IS a politician nevertheless.)
His campaign shot off an email asking for donations to reach their December goal of $200,000. The reason for this request: Karl Rove and his allies are running attack ads. (I'm just going to let that one sink in... for anyone who has ever felt the need to combat someone talking shit about you.)
He goes further to mention a $22.5 million check to Rove's "attack ad factory" as motivation to donate generously to his counter-cause.
So... let me get this straight. The bad guy wants the good guy out of office, so he's going to spend a lot of his money on nasty (and expensive) ad time to throw down the smack talk? Okay. So, what are you going to do with your Christmas money, Mr. Franken? Buy up the air time so he can't? Clever... but expensive and wasteful. Run counter-attack ads? Is it even worth acknowledging if you're the 'good guy'? Send him some expensive liquor with a nice note saying, 'Please don't attack me on the TeeVee anymore"? That only works in the movies. And really... you're going to combat $22.5 million? Give up already.
Wouldn't the best counter-campaign be one in which you could say, "Yeah... Karl is giving me shade. But I'm too busy improving living conditions for the poor or investing in better education to deal with that right now." I mean... wouldn't the ideal 'testimonial' be public opinion on your reputation as a politician that gets shit done? Take a look at Wendy Davis. She didn't even have to get shit done! But when people saw her 'trying' to get shit done, they took notice and lit up the Twitterverse. On a day when half the people in Texas didn't know who she was, she gained a national audience instantaneously.
If you're a politician or a PAC, I'll consider giving you money if you've got a proven record of getting shit done. What I won't consider (even for a second) is giving you money to fight other politicians and PACs. In fact, I scoff. Did you learn nothing on the playground? Let the thugs scrap it out next to the bike rack. Rise above, do you... and get some shit done. Shelter the homeless. Raise the minimum wage. Improve state welfare programs by co-opting from local farmers to give healthy and sustainable food options to the poor. Put the arts back in our schools and community centers.
With my limited experience in fundraising and 501(c)3 administration, I could give you fifty different options on how to use $200,000 to better your community immediately.
And that brings me to the former of the two categories, predominantly non-profit organizations or independent projects on kickstarter or gofundme. The same rule applies. Get shit done. People generally like to back successful projects. The more you can produce a quality outcome, the more people you will attract who want to be part of that legacy.
I'm guilty of this one myself, having launched a gofundme for my move to FL and misjudging how quickly I could get my organization on its feet while still writing, reading, administrating, and generally getting shit done. But now that I'm up and running, it is getting done. We're having readings. Scripts are being written and revised. And the momentum is unmistakable. We will end this year with over twice the donations we had last year. If I expect to keep it up, I've gotta make sure I'm getting shit done. That's how it works.
*On a side note, I will be running a kickstarter campaign to run a counter-attack ad against anyone who has ever disagreed with me politically, economically, artistically, or otherwise.
**J/K. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I've decided to skew my perspective when it comes to the 'Season of Giving'. Rather than putting my $11 into the Salvation Army bucket, I'll buy lunch for the homeless fellah on the corner of Ringling & Tamiami. Rather than throw a paltry amount to Greenpeace, I'll donate to Myakka state park right down the road. Or the wildlife sanctuary. I'll give to places where I can see and feel the difference it makes.
I think money being 'the root of all evil' has a lot to do with intention. Are we funding efforts to tear down and destroy, or are we funding efforts to protect and create?
An anonymous check to a local community theatre or youth program could completely change their year. A box of non-perishables on the doorstep of a struggling single mom will make her weep with relief and gratitude.
I don't have much to give, but when I do... it won't be for politics. I'll put my money where my heart is. The people and the communities that are precious to me. Together, I trust we'll be able to get shit done.
I like to be up-to-date on current events, but I don't watch network news. (*Unless I know someone on the show - usually theatre or event promos, serial killer friends... that kind of thing.) I scour the internet for sources from the far left, the far right, and the obscure, because I believe in the merit of "his side, her side, and the truth" ...in most cases.
The danger of getting most of my news from the internet is that I am easily persuaded by passionate arguments on everything from saving the Mexican Grey Wolf to ending bullying to anti-GMO campaigns and budget cuts to education/arts/welfare... you get the picture. I end up on ALL the email lists.
During one quarterly cleaning of my inbox, I discovered that every email from any 'cause' I'd ever cyber-joined led to politics or money. Usually both.
There seem to be two primary categories. The first, a crowd-funded grass-roots campaign to build this or preserve that, usually with specific objectives and collective accountability on how funds are to be used. The second is the 'campaign' or 'committee' dedicated to wiping out this or fighting that. Primarily political, and focused on combating corporate funding of this or that initiative.
Sometimes it's small... a little link at the top or bottom of the email. Sometimes a shiny little radio button with 'DONATE' in an attractive font. Sometimes it's the entire body of the email. But it's always there. "Support our cause - with your money."
I'll use Al Franken (U.S. Senator, Minnesota) as an example of the second/latter category. (In full disclosure, I'm on his mailing list - and not because I think the guy is an asshat. But he IS a politician nevertheless.)
His campaign shot off an email asking for donations to reach their December goal of $200,000. The reason for this request: Karl Rove and his allies are running attack ads. (I'm just going to let that one sink in... for anyone who has ever felt the need to combat someone talking shit about you.)
He goes further to mention a $22.5 million check to Rove's "attack ad factory" as motivation to donate generously to his counter-cause.
So... let me get this straight. The bad guy wants the good guy out of office, so he's going to spend a lot of his money on nasty (and expensive) ad time to throw down the smack talk? Okay. So, what are you going to do with your Christmas money, Mr. Franken? Buy up the air time so he can't? Clever... but expensive and wasteful. Run counter-attack ads? Is it even worth acknowledging if you're the 'good guy'? Send him some expensive liquor with a nice note saying, 'Please don't attack me on the TeeVee anymore"? That only works in the movies. And really... you're going to combat $22.5 million? Give up already.
Wouldn't the best counter-campaign be one in which you could say, "Yeah... Karl is giving me shade. But I'm too busy improving living conditions for the poor or investing in better education to deal with that right now." I mean... wouldn't the ideal 'testimonial' be public opinion on your reputation as a politician that gets shit done? Take a look at Wendy Davis. She didn't even have to get shit done! But when people saw her 'trying' to get shit done, they took notice and lit up the Twitterverse. On a day when half the people in Texas didn't know who she was, she gained a national audience instantaneously.
If you're a politician or a PAC, I'll consider giving you money if you've got a proven record of getting shit done. What I won't consider (even for a second) is giving you money to fight other politicians and PACs. In fact, I scoff. Did you learn nothing on the playground? Let the thugs scrap it out next to the bike rack. Rise above, do you... and get some shit done. Shelter the homeless. Raise the minimum wage. Improve state welfare programs by co-opting from local farmers to give healthy and sustainable food options to the poor. Put the arts back in our schools and community centers.
With my limited experience in fundraising and 501(c)3 administration, I could give you fifty different options on how to use $200,000 to better your community immediately.
And that brings me to the former of the two categories, predominantly non-profit organizations or independent projects on kickstarter or gofundme. The same rule applies. Get shit done. People generally like to back successful projects. The more you can produce a quality outcome, the more people you will attract who want to be part of that legacy.
I'm guilty of this one myself, having launched a gofundme for my move to FL and misjudging how quickly I could get my organization on its feet while still writing, reading, administrating, and generally getting shit done. But now that I'm up and running, it is getting done. We're having readings. Scripts are being written and revised. And the momentum is unmistakable. We will end this year with over twice the donations we had last year. If I expect to keep it up, I've gotta make sure I'm getting shit done. That's how it works.
*On a side note, I will be running a kickstarter campaign to run a counter-attack ad against anyone who has ever disagreed with me politically, economically, artistically, or otherwise.
**J/K. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I've decided to skew my perspective when it comes to the 'Season of Giving'. Rather than putting my $11 into the Salvation Army bucket, I'll buy lunch for the homeless fellah on the corner of Ringling & Tamiami. Rather than throw a paltry amount to Greenpeace, I'll donate to Myakka state park right down the road. Or the wildlife sanctuary. I'll give to places where I can see and feel the difference it makes.
I think money being 'the root of all evil' has a lot to do with intention. Are we funding efforts to tear down and destroy, or are we funding efforts to protect and create?
An anonymous check to a local community theatre or youth program could completely change their year. A box of non-perishables on the doorstep of a struggling single mom will make her weep with relief and gratitude.
I don't have much to give, but when I do... it won't be for politics. I'll put my money where my heart is. The people and the communities that are precious to me. Together, I trust we'll be able to get shit done.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Words, words, words
Writing is making me crazy emphasizing my already well-established insanity.
They say that what you write reveals a vast amount about you. (And by "They", I mean one mentor and two written sources or one written source and two mentors.) They also say to write what you know.
Looking on my growing catalog of plays and my book (which hasn't been touched in almost 6 months), I'm looking for a trend or 'niche' that would help describe my voice or 'type' of writing.
We've got a historical piece on the Suffragette movement, a government conspiracy play, a contemporary 'chick play', a black rom-com, and an adaptation of one of my favorite cult movies into a musical (with most of the music still yet to be written). Sigh.
With the exception of the latter, they all have undertones of politics, religion and economics. Funny... because as a general rule, I'm bitter and jaded about all three of those subjects. I guess what you write about really does reveal something about the writer. I'm exorcising my demons, I suppose. And learning focus.
What I don't write about... is my kids. (Though they are the central characters in my book - which is fiction.)
Even in blogging and Facebook/Twitter updates, I censor myself on a regular basis when it comes to my son and daughter. Part of this is due to a bad experience when a stalker found and used photos of them to taunt and torment me... I discovered then how easily the internet can be used to invade your life. The other part of me doesn't want to reveal too much about my kids because the more secrets they have to reveal in their memoirs, the better price they'll get.
Now that they've both graduated High School and are on to college, I still feel protective of them... but I'm also finding myself more vocal about celebrating the amazing adults they've become. I'm at that strange phase of life where it feels odd to thank my 'kids' in my bio, because they aren't kids any more. Even though they'll always be my babies.
And therein lies the rub. Shouldn't I be writing about my kids more? Especially now that they can't be teased in grade school when I turn their childhood anecdotes into a series of children's books? Or are some things just too precious to expose to that kind of vulnerability?
Or maybe I should just stop procrastinating and get back to revisions.
They say that what you write reveals a vast amount about you. (And by "They", I mean one mentor and two written sources or one written source and two mentors.) They also say to write what you know.
Looking on my growing catalog of plays and my book (which hasn't been touched in almost 6 months), I'm looking for a trend or 'niche' that would help describe my voice or 'type' of writing.
We've got a historical piece on the Suffragette movement, a government conspiracy play, a contemporary 'chick play', a black rom-com, and an adaptation of one of my favorite cult movies into a musical (with most of the music still yet to be written). Sigh.
With the exception of the latter, they all have undertones of politics, religion and economics. Funny... because as a general rule, I'm bitter and jaded about all three of those subjects. I guess what you write about really does reveal something about the writer. I'm exorcising my demons, I suppose. And learning focus.
What I don't write about... is my kids. (Though they are the central characters in my book - which is fiction.)
Even in blogging and Facebook/Twitter updates, I censor myself on a regular basis when it comes to my son and daughter. Part of this is due to a bad experience when a stalker found and used photos of them to taunt and torment me... I discovered then how easily the internet can be used to invade your life. The other part of me doesn't want to reveal too much about my kids because the more secrets they have to reveal in their memoirs, the better price they'll get.
Now that they've both graduated High School and are on to college, I still feel protective of them... but I'm also finding myself more vocal about celebrating the amazing adults they've become. I'm at that strange phase of life where it feels odd to thank my 'kids' in my bio, because they aren't kids any more. Even though they'll always be my babies.
And therein lies the rub. Shouldn't I be writing about my kids more? Especially now that they can't be teased in grade school when I turn their childhood anecdotes into a series of children's books? Or are some things just too precious to expose to that kind of vulnerability?
Or maybe I should just stop procrastinating and get back to revisions.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Can Someone Please Tell Me...
What happened to November?!
Last I checked, it was October... I left just as Fall and Halloween decorations were beginning to adorn my neighbors' doors!
I have a vague recollection of doing a show, and some fuzzy memories involving pies and turkey, but it's a blur. Sometimes life happens so fast that I don't feel like I have time to take it in and digest it all. I can only respond and volley and snap into action. An unchoreographed waltz with an undesignated lead. Once the action settles, I look back and say, "What just happened there?"
So... the highlights and lowlights of the past month and a half:
I spent 5 weeks in my hometown of Mesa, Arizona doing a fun little romp called 'Menopause The Musical' with Prather Entertainment (Broadway Palm, Dutch Apple, The Palms) and met an extraordinary group of women who took me in with kindness, consideration, and patience. It was a very fortuitous and serendipitous opportunity, and I had a blast being back on my 'old stompin' grounds'.
During my time there, I got to see my daughter (for like a minute) and her BF, my mom and step-dad, my sisters in law, Grandma & Grandpa, my dad, many of my dear(est) friends, and spent some extended time with my son. If you'd have told me in October that he would be living with me in Florida by Thanksgiving, I wouldn't have believed you. But that's the unpredictability of life, yo. He is here. His ginormous shoes infuriatingly in the center of the living room. And I couldn't be happier.
My playwright collaborators and I put together a reading for Testament of Will that renewed my interest in the project and helped to illuminate the direction we want to go with it. So, that was invaluable... and just kinda awesome, 'cuz our actors rocked it out. Now we just need to replace about half of the exposition with humor and compelling shit. No pressure. Done by Christmas. Eep!
We drove out to West Palm for Thanksgiving at Rhonda's (with about 40+ people) and I think I slept for the next two days straight. We'll call it an extreme food coma. I barely remember the drive home, but I know it happened 'cuz there are still leftovers in my fridge.
I've gotten some bites on packets I sent to local talent agencies on this side of the state, so I'm hoping to finally start setting down some roots in Flurrrida before I have to leave again. It'll be good to finally dip my toes in the market here after a year of feeling like I'm on vacation. (*Snap out of it, Andi. You live here. Stop gawking and get some work done!*)
I'm also starting to put together writing samples for a portfolio since there are so many free-lance jobs around here... and Mama needs some extra money for the pantry. (Not to mention Christmas. Holy crap, it's so close already!)
So here it is... already December. The last page of the calendar... another year marked off one day at a time. And no clue what the year ahead will hold for me. One thing I can guarantee... it'll be unpredictable.
Hopefully I'll remember most of it.
Unlike November.
Seriously. What just happened?
Last I checked, it was October... I left just as Fall and Halloween decorations were beginning to adorn my neighbors' doors!
I have a vague recollection of doing a show, and some fuzzy memories involving pies and turkey, but it's a blur. Sometimes life happens so fast that I don't feel like I have time to take it in and digest it all. I can only respond and volley and snap into action. An unchoreographed waltz with an undesignated lead. Once the action settles, I look back and say, "What just happened there?"
So... the highlights and lowlights of the past month and a half:
I spent 5 weeks in my hometown of Mesa, Arizona doing a fun little romp called 'Menopause The Musical' with Prather Entertainment (Broadway Palm, Dutch Apple, The Palms) and met an extraordinary group of women who took me in with kindness, consideration, and patience. It was a very fortuitous and serendipitous opportunity, and I had a blast being back on my 'old stompin' grounds'.
During my time there, I got to see my daughter (for like a minute) and her BF, my mom and step-dad, my sisters in law, Grandma & Grandpa, my dad, many of my dear(est) friends, and spent some extended time with my son. If you'd have told me in October that he would be living with me in Florida by Thanksgiving, I wouldn't have believed you. But that's the unpredictability of life, yo. He is here. His ginormous shoes infuriatingly in the center of the living room. And I couldn't be happier.
My playwright collaborators and I put together a reading for Testament of Will that renewed my interest in the project and helped to illuminate the direction we want to go with it. So, that was invaluable... and just kinda awesome, 'cuz our actors rocked it out. Now we just need to replace about half of the exposition with humor and compelling shit. No pressure. Done by Christmas. Eep!
We drove out to West Palm for Thanksgiving at Rhonda's (with about 40+ people) and I think I slept for the next two days straight. We'll call it an extreme food coma. I barely remember the drive home, but I know it happened 'cuz there are still leftovers in my fridge.
I've gotten some bites on packets I sent to local talent agencies on this side of the state, so I'm hoping to finally start setting down some roots in Flurrrida before I have to leave again. It'll be good to finally dip my toes in the market here after a year of feeling like I'm on vacation. (*Snap out of it, Andi. You live here. Stop gawking and get some work done!*)
I'm also starting to put together writing samples for a portfolio since there are so many free-lance jobs around here... and Mama needs some extra money for the pantry. (Not to mention Christmas. Holy crap, it's so close already!)
So here it is... already December. The last page of the calendar... another year marked off one day at a time. And no clue what the year ahead will hold for me. One thing I can guarantee... it'll be unpredictable.
Hopefully I'll remember most of it.
Unlike November.
Seriously. What just happened?
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