Okay, this blog is mostly for parents... so if you aren't one, feel free to go about your day without reading. You might be bored. (Though the concept I seek to express fits many other phases of life in general, so it's up to you.) :)
"Treasure every moment" is something I heard constantly as a young parent. I could be on line at the grocery store checkout with a tantrum-tastic toddler and a cranky newborn, hair askew in five different directions, skirt stuck in the waistband of my panties and mismatched shoes and inevitably some woman would approach me, sweetly smile at my screaming spawnlings and say, "Treasure every moment, dear. It goes by so quickly."
At the time, my reactions varied, but mostly I wanted to punch these women in the face and cry, "How can I treasure every moment? Can't you see I'm about to die of exhaustion and lack of sleep?! My hair is oily, my complexion shot and I haven't had a pedicure since my last trimester!!" Clearly, these women had no clue what I was enduring, weaning two babies still in diapers. They probably had nannies and housekeepers and personal chefs, which is why they were able to smile so sincerely, right?
Fast forward to two weeks ago as the kids started their Fall Break from school.
On one particular morning, the kids were getting up to go out with Jason and my still-sleepy daughter threw her cover-up into my hands. I promptly prepped it and slid it over her head... pausing to realize that it had been years since I had dressed my baby girl. Relative ages since I had spooned food into their mouths or played 'peek-a-boo'.
Last night, as my daughter and I were bonding over music - reminiscing about our 'mix CDs' from one of our many summers in Sedona, I started to think about the many phases of our lives together. From clothes to school to food to milestones to Anna Nalick's 'Breathe' and Tracy Bonham's 'Mother Mother'... I sometimes wish I had found my inner peace at a younger age, enabling me to truly 'treasure every moment' while it was actually happening.
The kids had a phobia of public restrooms when they were young because the doors were always heavy and locks were different. My daughter had once been locked into a bathroom at Oregano's. My son (at a fancy family-celebration at Melting Pot) took off his shoe and propped open the door of the men's room because it was heavy and he didn't think he could open it again without help. That too, was a temporary phase.
My kids are leaving today for Disneyland with their Aunt and Grandpa and two of their cousins. They've taken trips out of state before... road trips in-state, out of state, plane rides to Oregon and New York, etc. But after spending the past two weeks together (and me on a psuedo-break where I wasn't running to rehearsals every afternoon) their departure seems abrupt.
Last night, after dropping them off at their grandma's house, I was feeling particularly nostalgic. As I stopped to grab a couple of items at the store, I found myself eyeballing stylish diaper bags (I swore I could smell the combination of baby power and Desitin) and reminiscing about those crazy times when the only way to get my son to sleep was to put him in his swinging bassinet in front of a speaker and play the soundtrack to 'Cool Runnings'. (He loved the steel drums, I guess.) Or how much my daughter loved huge dill pickles when she was teething.
I was still in this fairy-land of times long gone when I noticed the young woman in front of me fumbling through a large bag for her wallet while balancing a screaming infant on her hip. We made eye contact and I sympathetically smiled and asked if she needed help. She managed to juggle her payment and collect her bags, giving me a grateful smile (presumably for caring or at least not losing patience).
I couldn't help myself, so I waited until she was still within earshot, but out of punching distance before I sweetly said, "Treasure every moment."
It does go by all too quickly.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
'Richard II' callbacks
Okay, we had so much fun with the last one (and the controversy that our casting of Dane Cook caused) that we had to do another!
We do realize that it's sort-of elitist to only call back one actor per character... so, in the future, we've decided we will open up our minds a bit and expand our actor pool. Perhaps even engaging in online debates as to which of two or three actors you'd vote for in that role.
We don't really follow any rules with this... we started with casting only American film/TV actors, but found that there are always some exceptions to be made. So, I will say that we cast 'mostly' American actors, but every once in a while we will acquire guest artist contracts for foreigners.
In the meantime... here is our list of folks we'd like to see read the characters of Shakespeare's Richard II.
Richard, The Butterfly King: Neil Patrick Harris
This one is a no-brainer. Richard is a pretty-boy figurehead who is about to have his throne usurped by Bolingbroke (the cousin he banished). We can easily picture his pouty posturing as a politically incompetent playboy while he dresses down his elders with, "We were not born to sue, but to command." And who better to be stripped down to nothing but his vulnerable depositions, captivating us with every discovery as he laments, "I wasted time... and now doth time waste me." Oh, yes, Neil Patrick. Oh. Yes!
Queen Isabella: Isla Fisher
We needed the perfect Jackie-O bride for our lovely king and thus, the ethereal Isla Fisher was top on our list. It's questionable as to whether she has the chops for this one, but let's face it... I'd really like to see her try. We think she's capable of fretting appropriately over her politically persecuted husband - and her innocence makes their forced separation (and her banishment) woefully tear-jerking. And don't they make such the perfect royal couple? I mean, it doesn't get much prettier than these two.
Henry Bolingbroke: Liev Schreiber
Richard's hotheaded and devious cousin, determined to ascend the throne, could go to many of Hollywood's hotties. We'd like to let Liev sink his teeth into our seat cushions. He has to be physically imposing (enough to intimidate Richard into handing over his crown without more bloodshed) but compelling enough to make us sympathize with his dishonored state. He has to go toe-to-toe with Mowbray in combat early in the show, and his thirst for blood and power is exposed with his condemnation and execution of Richard's loyal followers. He's our heavy for this one. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, indeed...
Duke of Lancaster, John of Gaunt: Tobin Bell
Bolingbroke's brokenhearted father, ailing and soon to leave both realms for good, John of Gaunt has some pretty heavy stuff. He's one of the only few to warn Richard that his opulence will rob him of what he holds most dear. Bereaved brother, father, and uncle... we like the idea of Creepy McSaw getting a chance to dig into something meatier to play this very sick and very angry Poppa to our Simmering Schreiber. So far, so good.
Duchess of Gloucester: Anjelica Huston
The play opens with Duchess G having been recently widowed. (And the rumor is that her twerp of a nephew [Richard] was somehow involved in the order for her husband's assassination.) She makes every attempt to incite Gaunt to avenge her husband's death, but when she doesn't get the resolution she seeks, she makes her exit in a whirlwind of mourning clothes and news of her impending suicide with, "Desolate, desolate, will I hence and die..." Her appearance is a short one, but Ms. Huston is our hands-down fave for a long-lasting impact from the weeping widow.
Mowbray: Mark Wahlberg
We're pretty sure this one will be controversial, but hear us out. The Duke of Norfolk (Mowbray) pops into Scene III to challenge Bolingbroke. I'd personally love to see Marky Mark do his funky bunch in battle with Schreiber. Not only that, but Richard interrupts and banishes him... and he dies in exile. We think he's not only capable of handling the honorable, but politically ignorant scapegoat; but he might even make us wonder if he was the one to snuff out ol' Thomas, Duke of Gloucester himself...
Edmund, Duke of York: Willem Dafoe
The Duke of York is not only John of Gaunt's contemporary, but he is father to Aumerle and walks a tenuous tightrope between the divided family loyalties. His generation has been all but snuffed out and these crazy kids are about to do the same to one another. He is one of the few peeks into the dehumanization of Richard from a sympathetic standpoint and Dafoe is our superglue to this shattered family. Especially when he goes toe to toe with his son on the subject of family loyalty and survival... after being appointed Lord Governor of England while Richard was out of town... Lots of ssssssymbolism here.
Duchess of York: Frances McDormand
Duchess Y is really the only functioning 'mother' we see in this play as mother to Aumerle and wife of York. She's also our brief relief as she pleads with Bolingbroke to spare her son's life (successfully). McDormand is our tongue-in-cheek President of the PTA, convincing us that all it takes is a passionate parent to intervene and crisis can be averted. She's our fast-thinking, quick-talking Queen Bee.
Aumerle: Sam Rockwell
Fiercely loyal to Richard (and a favorite cousin of the king) we think Rockwell is the perfect patsy to do as he's told and take the path of least resistance. It won't stop him, however, from playing both sides once it's obvious that Cousin Henry has the power and Richard is on his way out. One might argue that he has the best of intentions, but we think Aumerle just might be following the fame and fortune... we wonder which way Mr. Rockwell will swing on that one.
Earl of Northumberland: Morgan Freeman
We wondered who would play our rooks in this political chess game. The answer was simpler than we anticipated. Of the first to come to mind, Morgan Freeman as the savvy Earl who loathes the way Richard is misusing his authority to punish family and reward the corrupt hangers-on. Having proved his worth, marching troops into France at the age of 18, he served Richard in military, diplomatic, and administrative capacities only to be dismissed when he voiced dissension with the king. We want to see him at the walls of the castle, addressing the nervous Richard with his honey-tongued discourse. Mr. Freeman lends legitimacy as the senior protector of the Scots.
Young Percy (Hotspur): O'Shea Jackson (Ice Cube)
That's right. We went there. If Wahlberg gets a cameo, then we may as well open up the floodgates for our fave West-Coast-Rapper-turned-Actor. We can so clearly see a slightly condescending Freeman delivering, "Have you forgot the Duke of Hereford, boy?" only to be met with Cube's, "No, my good lord; for that is not forgot which ne'er I did remember: to my knowledge, I never in my life did look on him." It might take a workshop or two to rid him of his typical staccato speech pattern, but we think we can pull some Hotspur out of his NWA.
Lord Ross: Billy Bob Thornton
Lord Willoughby: Ed Norton
Who would you NOT want to piss off if you were king? These guys. Underrated roles that pack a punch, Ross and Willoughby are tight with Northumberland and don't like sitting back and watching while Richard abuses the surrounding nobility. They both become supporters of Bolingbroke, making his army that much more badass. First rule of treason...
Bushy: Jason Schwartzman
One of Richard's three favorites and a 'caterpillar of the commonwealth', we love to hate Jason Schwartzman. We can easily see him whispering in the kings ear while picking the pockets of the poor and we need not suspend disbelief to see him hightail it outta there when things get hot. What's more?... Execution scene!! Oh yes... we get to see Schreiber chew him out for leading the king astray before condemning him to die. Win - win.
Green: Ryan Phillipe
Again, because we love to hate him, and also because we want to see him crying along with Schwartzman, Phillipe is our pick for the second of the three gems tainting Richard's crown. The other leech that runs for safety only to be captured and executed for being a douche.
Bagot: Giovani Ribisi
Even douches deserve redemption and our pick is Giovani as the sole survivor of the three nogoodniks. He is the one who escapes to Ireland in an attempt to warn his king of the impending uprising, but is later captured and brought back to England for trial. He narrowly avoids the fate of his two contemporaries and is released after a year in prison... and since we like to root for Giovanni (even when he's playing a sleaze) we'll root for him here, too!
Bishop of Carlisle: Wallace Shawn
He is the bearer of much news, including that of Mowbray's death fighting in the crusades, but we love Carlisle best for stepping in as Richard attempts to ascend the throne with, "Marry, God forbid!... if you raise this house against this house, it will the woefullest division prove that ever fell upon this cursed earth." Shawn is our beloved soothsayer of the juju, making us cringe and cry when he's imprisoned for treason. Treason? Inconceivable?!
Sir Exton: Jason Mewes
"From your own mouth, my lord, I did this deed."
We're offering a redemption cameo to a fellah we believe can be single-handedly responsible for 'burying the hatchet', so-to-speak; bringing Richard's dead body to a shocked (and instantly remorseful) Bolingbroke. Mewe's is our advantageous idiot-in-waiting and we don't feel bad about being pissed off at him. Hell, it's the end of the play anyhow. He's banished. And that's just fine with us. :)
And there you have it. Sit back... and discuss.
We had fun putting it together. Feel free to throw out suggestions for the next Shakespeare show. Maybe we'll make it through the whole canon!
We do realize that it's sort-of elitist to only call back one actor per character... so, in the future, we've decided we will open up our minds a bit and expand our actor pool. Perhaps even engaging in online debates as to which of two or three actors you'd vote for in that role.
We don't really follow any rules with this... we started with casting only American film/TV actors, but found that there are always some exceptions to be made. So, I will say that we cast 'mostly' American actors, but every once in a while we will acquire guest artist contracts for foreigners.
In the meantime... here is our list of folks we'd like to see read the characters of Shakespeare's Richard II.
Richard, The Butterfly King: Neil Patrick Harris
This one is a no-brainer. Richard is a pretty-boy figurehead who is about to have his throne usurped by Bolingbroke (the cousin he banished). We can easily picture his pouty posturing as a politically incompetent playboy while he dresses down his elders with, "We were not born to sue, but to command." And who better to be stripped down to nothing but his vulnerable depositions, captivating us with every discovery as he laments, "I wasted time... and now doth time waste me." Oh, yes, Neil Patrick. Oh. Yes!
Queen Isabella: Isla Fisher
We needed the perfect Jackie-O bride for our lovely king and thus, the ethereal Isla Fisher was top on our list. It's questionable as to whether she has the chops for this one, but let's face it... I'd really like to see her try. We think she's capable of fretting appropriately over her politically persecuted husband - and her innocence makes their forced separation (and her banishment) woefully tear-jerking. And don't they make such the perfect royal couple? I mean, it doesn't get much prettier than these two.
Henry Bolingbroke: Liev Schreiber
Richard's hotheaded and devious cousin, determined to ascend the throne, could go to many of Hollywood's hotties. We'd like to let Liev sink his teeth into our seat cushions. He has to be physically imposing (enough to intimidate Richard into handing over his crown without more bloodshed) but compelling enough to make us sympathize with his dishonored state. He has to go toe-to-toe with Mowbray in combat early in the show, and his thirst for blood and power is exposed with his condemnation and execution of Richard's loyal followers. He's our heavy for this one. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown, indeed...
Duke of Lancaster, John of Gaunt: Tobin Bell
Bolingbroke's brokenhearted father, ailing and soon to leave both realms for good, John of Gaunt has some pretty heavy stuff. He's one of the only few to warn Richard that his opulence will rob him of what he holds most dear. Bereaved brother, father, and uncle... we like the idea of Creepy McSaw getting a chance to dig into something meatier to play this very sick and very angry Poppa to our Simmering Schreiber. So far, so good.
Duchess of Gloucester: Anjelica Huston
The play opens with Duchess G having been recently widowed. (And the rumor is that her twerp of a nephew [Richard] was somehow involved in the order for her husband's assassination.) She makes every attempt to incite Gaunt to avenge her husband's death, but when she doesn't get the resolution she seeks, she makes her exit in a whirlwind of mourning clothes and news of her impending suicide with, "Desolate, desolate, will I hence and die..." Her appearance is a short one, but Ms. Huston is our hands-down fave for a long-lasting impact from the weeping widow.
Mowbray: Mark Wahlberg
We're pretty sure this one will be controversial, but hear us out. The Duke of Norfolk (Mowbray) pops into Scene III to challenge Bolingbroke. I'd personally love to see Marky Mark do his funky bunch in battle with Schreiber. Not only that, but Richard interrupts and banishes him... and he dies in exile. We think he's not only capable of handling the honorable, but politically ignorant scapegoat; but he might even make us wonder if he was the one to snuff out ol' Thomas, Duke of Gloucester himself...
Edmund, Duke of York: Willem Dafoe
The Duke of York is not only John of Gaunt's contemporary, but he is father to Aumerle and walks a tenuous tightrope between the divided family loyalties. His generation has been all but snuffed out and these crazy kids are about to do the same to one another. He is one of the few peeks into the dehumanization of Richard from a sympathetic standpoint and Dafoe is our superglue to this shattered family. Especially when he goes toe to toe with his son on the subject of family loyalty and survival... after being appointed Lord Governor of England while Richard was out of town... Lots of ssssssymbolism here.
Duchess of York: Frances McDormand
Duchess Y is really the only functioning 'mother' we see in this play as mother to Aumerle and wife of York. She's also our brief relief as she pleads with Bolingbroke to spare her son's life (successfully). McDormand is our tongue-in-cheek President of the PTA, convincing us that all it takes is a passionate parent to intervene and crisis can be averted. She's our fast-thinking, quick-talking Queen Bee.
Aumerle: Sam Rockwell
Fiercely loyal to Richard (and a favorite cousin of the king) we think Rockwell is the perfect patsy to do as he's told and take the path of least resistance. It won't stop him, however, from playing both sides once it's obvious that Cousin Henry has the power and Richard is on his way out. One might argue that he has the best of intentions, but we think Aumerle just might be following the fame and fortune... we wonder which way Mr. Rockwell will swing on that one.
Earl of Northumberland: Morgan Freeman
We wondered who would play our rooks in this political chess game. The answer was simpler than we anticipated. Of the first to come to mind, Morgan Freeman as the savvy Earl who loathes the way Richard is misusing his authority to punish family and reward the corrupt hangers-on. Having proved his worth, marching troops into France at the age of 18, he served Richard in military, diplomatic, and administrative capacities only to be dismissed when he voiced dissension with the king. We want to see him at the walls of the castle, addressing the nervous Richard with his honey-tongued discourse. Mr. Freeman lends legitimacy as the senior protector of the Scots.
Young Percy (Hotspur): O'Shea Jackson (Ice Cube)
That's right. We went there. If Wahlberg gets a cameo, then we may as well open up the floodgates for our fave West-Coast-Rapper-turned-Actor. We can so clearly see a slightly condescending Freeman delivering, "Have you forgot the Duke of Hereford, boy?" only to be met with Cube's, "No, my good lord; for that is not forgot which ne'er I did remember: to my knowledge, I never in my life did look on him." It might take a workshop or two to rid him of his typical staccato speech pattern, but we think we can pull some Hotspur out of his NWA.
Lord Ross: Billy Bob Thornton
Lord Willoughby: Ed Norton
Who would you NOT want to piss off if you were king? These guys. Underrated roles that pack a punch, Ross and Willoughby are tight with Northumberland and don't like sitting back and watching while Richard abuses the surrounding nobility. They both become supporters of Bolingbroke, making his army that much more badass. First rule of treason...
Bushy: Jason Schwartzman
One of Richard's three favorites and a 'caterpillar of the commonwealth', we love to hate Jason Schwartzman. We can easily see him whispering in the kings ear while picking the pockets of the poor and we need not suspend disbelief to see him hightail it outta there when things get hot. What's more?... Execution scene!! Oh yes... we get to see Schreiber chew him out for leading the king astray before condemning him to die. Win - win.
Green: Ryan Phillipe
Again, because we love to hate him, and also because we want to see him crying along with Schwartzman, Phillipe is our pick for the second of the three gems tainting Richard's crown. The other leech that runs for safety only to be captured and executed for being a douche.
Bagot: Giovani Ribisi
Even douches deserve redemption and our pick is Giovani as the sole survivor of the three nogoodniks. He is the one who escapes to Ireland in an attempt to warn his king of the impending uprising, but is later captured and brought back to England for trial. He narrowly avoids the fate of his two contemporaries and is released after a year in prison... and since we like to root for Giovanni (even when he's playing a sleaze) we'll root for him here, too!
Bishop of Carlisle: Wallace Shawn
He is the bearer of much news, including that of Mowbray's death fighting in the crusades, but we love Carlisle best for stepping in as Richard attempts to ascend the throne with, "Marry, God forbid!... if you raise this house against this house, it will the woefullest division prove that ever fell upon this cursed earth." Shawn is our beloved soothsayer of the juju, making us cringe and cry when he's imprisoned for treason. Treason? Inconceivable?!
Sir Exton: Jason Mewes
"From your own mouth, my lord, I did this deed."
We're offering a redemption cameo to a fellah we believe can be single-handedly responsible for 'burying the hatchet', so-to-speak; bringing Richard's dead body to a shocked (and instantly remorseful) Bolingbroke. Mewe's is our advantageous idiot-in-waiting and we don't feel bad about being pissed off at him. Hell, it's the end of the play anyhow. He's banished. And that's just fine with us. :)
And there you have it. Sit back... and discuss.
We had fun putting it together. Feel free to throw out suggestions for the next Shakespeare show. Maybe we'll make it through the whole canon!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The 'King Lear' you'll never see...
In our spare time, Jason and I like to take some of our favorite plays and make up our 'dream cast'... or at least a cast of characters that we'd love to see in roles. (Sometimes just for the train wreck we imagine would ensue!)
This morning, we arbitrarily cast an American film version of 'King Lear' that is both contemporary and unconventional. Our casting budget is unlimited, of course, and we rarely take into consideration reputation or 'diva' attitudes, since all celebrities are honored and humbled to work on a Barthson project. And so... The core characters are as follows:
King Lear: Clint Eastwood
Why Clint Eastwood? Because who wouldn't love to hear him growl, "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow! you cataracts and hurricanoes..." ?! As far as grizzled old men go, we think Eastwood is pretty high in the rankings. He can scare the crap out of us and have us crying over his fragility.
The Fool: Tim Roth
Ah, Tim Roth... not American, but since he has become such a sweetheart of American Television with his current contract for 'Lie To Me', we made an exception. He is engaging, intense and talented beyond belief. Who better to make us laugh and wrench our hearts as Lear's faithful and dogged companion? If you aren't convinced, check out youtube and his early portrayal of Gregor Samsa in 'Metamorphosis'. We're sure you'll see it our way. :)
Goneril: Charlize Theron
We know she has chops, but can she play the greedy eldest daughter of the aged king? We think so!! This time, we'll let her play a Monster that is still pretty on the outside, but rotten to the core. Scheming, advantageous and downright murderous, we like the idea of her poisoning our well.
Regan: Ashley Judd
Partially because we want to see these three play sisters, but mostly because they are (in our minds) underrated actresses... not the least of which would be the poor middle sister, advantageous and manipulative as she is... and no less scheming than her older sister, if a bit more clumsy about it at times.
Cordelia: Katherine Heigl
And finally, our dear Cordelia. Nothing humbles a film actress like being saddled with a classical role (and an iconic one at that) and so we believe that Heigl deserves a second-chance to show us all that she's got the chops (if not the street smarts) to keep up with her older sisters. We like her strong side, but we like her vulnerable side too... as the only one of Lear's daughters who is sincere and genuine in her love for her father.
Albany: Oliver Platt
Because we love him in classical roles and because he can play the dichotomy of 'master of my realm' and 'cuckold' so well, Albany (wife... er.... husband of Goneril) could be no other than our beloved Oliver.
Cornwall: Tommy Lee Jones
He has a great track record for hunting down fugitives, so who better to track down traitorous Gloucester and pluck out his eyes (presumably with his bare hands)? That's right, folks. Badass Tommy Lee himself. (He triumphed by a small margin over Terry O'Quinn of LOST.) Besides, as Regan's husband, we already know there's chemistry between he and Judd. Done deal.
Kent: Gary Oldman
Also not American, but as he says, "I am a gentleman of blood and breeding..." and our Master of Disguise, Mr. Oldman can not only morph from nobleman to peasant, but can easily convince us that there is honor among men with his tenacious loyalty. He's our chameleon to bring this play home... and we can't wait to see him take on Oswald!
Oswald: Kevin Spacey
We love Kevin Spacey! And what's better than Spacey? Spacey as a sycophant! The amoral servant of Goneril and the capable telescope through which we can see how twisted she and Regan really are. Not only would the combat between he and Oldman be epic, but Spacey can spin machinations... and still maintain loyalty to one true mistress.
Gloucester: Donald Sutherland
The legendary Sutherland, who can effortlessly match the requirements of 'Lord of the Court' while turning a blind eye (one each) to his own sons; one with the best of intentions - and the other, no better than the daughters he attempts to thwart from destroying his friend and mentor. We think ol' Donald is the perfect ignorant giant to fall gently.
Edgar: Ryan Reynolds
The 'good son'. Why Ryan Reynolds? Partially because he's hot. And funny. And I think funny guys are hot. Betrayed by his own father, Edgar goes 'on the lam' in an attempt to survive long enough to salvage what's left of his father's legacy. We think Reynolds can handle the task and have us rooting for him the whole way. Epic battle at the end of the show... I'm just getting started.
Edmund: Dane Cook
I'm sure some of you think we're off our rocker with these brothers, but let's face it... Dane Cook could TOTALLY be the bastard brother to Ryan Reynolds. And he's funny. And funny guys are hot. And what's better than an epic battle between two hot chicks? An epic battle between two hot dudes! It comes down to the fact that Dane can do smarmy and still somehow be compelling and frighteningly endearing.
So there it is, folks... the King Lear you'll never get to see. Just another Saturday morning at our home casting agency. You're welcome. :)
This morning, we arbitrarily cast an American film version of 'King Lear' that is both contemporary and unconventional. Our casting budget is unlimited, of course, and we rarely take into consideration reputation or 'diva' attitudes, since all celebrities are honored and humbled to work on a Barthson project. And so... The core characters are as follows:
King Lear: Clint Eastwood
Why Clint Eastwood? Because who wouldn't love to hear him growl, "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage! Blow! you cataracts and hurricanoes..." ?! As far as grizzled old men go, we think Eastwood is pretty high in the rankings. He can scare the crap out of us and have us crying over his fragility.
The Fool: Tim Roth
Ah, Tim Roth... not American, but since he has become such a sweetheart of American Television with his current contract for 'Lie To Me', we made an exception. He is engaging, intense and talented beyond belief. Who better to make us laugh and wrench our hearts as Lear's faithful and dogged companion? If you aren't convinced, check out youtube and his early portrayal of Gregor Samsa in 'Metamorphosis'. We're sure you'll see it our way. :)
Goneril: Charlize Theron
We know she has chops, but can she play the greedy eldest daughter of the aged king? We think so!! This time, we'll let her play a Monster that is still pretty on the outside, but rotten to the core. Scheming, advantageous and downright murderous, we like the idea of her poisoning our well.
Regan: Ashley Judd
Partially because we want to see these three play sisters, but mostly because they are (in our minds) underrated actresses... not the least of which would be the poor middle sister, advantageous and manipulative as she is... and no less scheming than her older sister, if a bit more clumsy about it at times.
Cordelia: Katherine Heigl
And finally, our dear Cordelia. Nothing humbles a film actress like being saddled with a classical role (and an iconic one at that) and so we believe that Heigl deserves a second-chance to show us all that she's got the chops (if not the street smarts) to keep up with her older sisters. We like her strong side, but we like her vulnerable side too... as the only one of Lear's daughters who is sincere and genuine in her love for her father.
Albany: Oliver Platt
Because we love him in classical roles and because he can play the dichotomy of 'master of my realm' and 'cuckold' so well, Albany (wife... er.... husband of Goneril) could be no other than our beloved Oliver.
Cornwall: Tommy Lee Jones
He has a great track record for hunting down fugitives, so who better to track down traitorous Gloucester and pluck out his eyes (presumably with his bare hands)? That's right, folks. Badass Tommy Lee himself. (He triumphed by a small margin over Terry O'Quinn of LOST.) Besides, as Regan's husband, we already know there's chemistry between he and Judd. Done deal.
Kent: Gary Oldman
Also not American, but as he says, "I am a gentleman of blood and breeding..." and our Master of Disguise, Mr. Oldman can not only morph from nobleman to peasant, but can easily convince us that there is honor among men with his tenacious loyalty. He's our chameleon to bring this play home... and we can't wait to see him take on Oswald!
Oswald: Kevin Spacey
We love Kevin Spacey! And what's better than Spacey? Spacey as a sycophant! The amoral servant of Goneril and the capable telescope through which we can see how twisted she and Regan really are. Not only would the combat between he and Oldman be epic, but Spacey can spin machinations... and still maintain loyalty to one true mistress.
Gloucester: Donald Sutherland
The legendary Sutherland, who can effortlessly match the requirements of 'Lord of the Court' while turning a blind eye (one each) to his own sons; one with the best of intentions - and the other, no better than the daughters he attempts to thwart from destroying his friend and mentor. We think ol' Donald is the perfect ignorant giant to fall gently.
Edgar: Ryan Reynolds
The 'good son'. Why Ryan Reynolds? Partially because he's hot. And funny. And I think funny guys are hot. Betrayed by his own father, Edgar goes 'on the lam' in an attempt to survive long enough to salvage what's left of his father's legacy. We think Reynolds can handle the task and have us rooting for him the whole way. Epic battle at the end of the show... I'm just getting started.
Edmund: Dane Cook
I'm sure some of you think we're off our rocker with these brothers, but let's face it... Dane Cook could TOTALLY be the bastard brother to Ryan Reynolds. And he's funny. And funny guys are hot. And what's better than an epic battle between two hot chicks? An epic battle between two hot dudes! It comes down to the fact that Dane can do smarmy and still somehow be compelling and frighteningly endearing.
So there it is, folks... the King Lear you'll never get to see. Just another Saturday morning at our home casting agency. You're welcome. :)
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