Disclaimer: I have a conservative family that does not frequently use curse words. For the sake of this blog, however... I will be frequenting the word 'shit', both in the fecal translation and the contemporary slang for 'stuff' or 'things'. I mean no offense... only sophomoric humor.
That being said, my family... for as conservative as we may be in some ways... is incredibly 'open' in others. We have never known censorship or humility when it comes to bodily functions and speak openly about color, form, consistency, weight, odor and ingredient. With four kids sharing a bathroom, we became quite close... and gross.
My brothers have been known to take pics with camera phones and send them to family members when they are particularly proud or astounded by their fecal creations. My boyfriend is both awed and disgusted by my "poop humor", but is slowly being inducted into the fold of the unabashed. Slowly. And reluctantly.
And so it was, that I was on the toilet... after a 6-show week in which I had thrown out my back. I couldn't quite get my arm behind me and had to twist (which was painful and awkward) in order to merely wipe my own ass. After turning my adjustable showerhead into a makeshift bidet, I mused that it was almost 35 years ago when my mom wiped my butt for the very first time.
And then I felt it... age. Like a poltergeist or a lingering spirit of energies past, the last 35 years crept up my spine and weaved its tendrils throughout my limbs and joints before settling into my under-eyes, jowls, boobs, butt, hips and lower intestines.
My left ear is recovering from an infection that perforated the eardrum. My skin is awful from regular applications of greasepaint and sweat. My reconstructed left jawbone aches, my back is a mess and my knees are thrashed from so many years in character shoes.
And so it is that I take stock of my life and what I've accomplished and acquired. How much of it is quality and how much of it is.... shit? And where do I need to be in order to focus on more quality shit rather than the empty shit that just feels good at the time?
Holy crap. I'm starting to feel like I'm in my 30's.
But hey, I'm still ticking!... and shitting regularly. Concord Brown.
Some things never change.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Theatre Vent
Okay, I just have to vent. (Big shock.)
I am on the email list for local auditions (durantcom.com) and even when I'm doing two shows and can't possibly think of another project, I still read her updates religiously.
So I was perusing the various projects and theatres offering auditions for their shows when I came across one that caught my eye... for all the wrong reasons.
It was a local theatre offering auditions for it's upcoming stage production and at the bottom of the audition notice was a note stating that actors would be required to pay a $180.00 Participation Fee.
WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT????
To clarify, this is NOT a college production in which a fee would be assessed to register for the required class.
A fellow actor-friend said that it was explained to her that the participation fee is assessed to cover costumes and supplies for the actors during the show. It also seems that their technicians are paid... and paid well.
I'm incensed by this.
So, my question is this: How good can the talent possibly be if they are PAYING to be in the show?? My second question is: Do the actors get to keep the costumes, shoes, and props they've paid for?
Even if the latter is true, it doesn't make me feel any better... especially if you're doing a 'brown show' like Big River or Fiddler on the Roof.
In my world (which I admit is vastly different from actual reality) talented actors are PAID to do what they do, not vice versa.
I believe it was Olivier that said "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Now, I break that rule often. I take pictures of friends for free, I do belly-casts for friends for free and every theatre season I do one to two shows for community theatres 'for free' either because of the people involved or the project itself (in the case of MET, people I've known and worked with since I was a kid, or @Pro where my 'peeps' do projects that no one else in the Valley will touch.)
But I have NEVER.... NEVER... paid to be in a show.
As actors, we all end up spending our own money on stuff that is show related.
Makeup, shoes, personal props, transportation, etc. Isn't that enough??
I've never seen a show at this particular theatre and I probably never will. I can't imagine that the talent is all that great... since most career actors I know command significant stipends and contracts for what they do and would laugh at anyone who asked them to whip out their checkbook in order to 'participate' in the show.
For $180 bucks, that theatre better drive me to and from rehearsals as well so I don't have to incur more costs for gas and vehicle maintenance on top of paying my 'participation fee'.
What a crock of shit.
If any of my friends or contemporaries are involved with this company, please know that I mean no offense when I say you are ridiculous and so is your "theatre".
/end vent.
Whew.
I feel better.
I am on the email list for local auditions (durantcom.com) and even when I'm doing two shows and can't possibly think of another project, I still read her updates religiously.
So I was perusing the various projects and theatres offering auditions for their shows when I came across one that caught my eye... for all the wrong reasons.
It was a local theatre offering auditions for it's upcoming stage production and at the bottom of the audition notice was a note stating that actors would be required to pay a $180.00 Participation Fee.
WHAT WHAT WHAAAAT????
To clarify, this is NOT a college production in which a fee would be assessed to register for the required class.
A fellow actor-friend said that it was explained to her that the participation fee is assessed to cover costumes and supplies for the actors during the show. It also seems that their technicians are paid... and paid well.
I'm incensed by this.
So, my question is this: How good can the talent possibly be if they are PAYING to be in the show?? My second question is: Do the actors get to keep the costumes, shoes, and props they've paid for?
Even if the latter is true, it doesn't make me feel any better... especially if you're doing a 'brown show' like Big River or Fiddler on the Roof.
In my world (which I admit is vastly different from actual reality) talented actors are PAID to do what they do, not vice versa.
I believe it was Olivier that said "If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Now, I break that rule often. I take pictures of friends for free, I do belly-casts for friends for free and every theatre season I do one to two shows for community theatres 'for free' either because of the people involved or the project itself (in the case of MET, people I've known and worked with since I was a kid, or @Pro where my 'peeps' do projects that no one else in the Valley will touch.)
But I have NEVER.... NEVER... paid to be in a show.
As actors, we all end up spending our own money on stuff that is show related.
Makeup, shoes, personal props, transportation, etc. Isn't that enough??
I've never seen a show at this particular theatre and I probably never will. I can't imagine that the talent is all that great... since most career actors I know command significant stipends and contracts for what they do and would laugh at anyone who asked them to whip out their checkbook in order to 'participate' in the show.
For $180 bucks, that theatre better drive me to and from rehearsals as well so I don't have to incur more costs for gas and vehicle maintenance on top of paying my 'participation fee'.
What a crock of shit.
If any of my friends or contemporaries are involved with this company, please know that I mean no offense when I say you are ridiculous and so is your "theatre".
/end vent.
Whew.
I feel better.
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