Season Generals

Today was the culmination of much stress and preparation. My final 'season general' audition for the summer. I think.
For those who aren't 'in the know' on how the dark underbelly of theatre works, here's a crash course:
In Arizona, there is a definitive theatre 'season'. It typically runs from Fall through the Spring, peaking during the Winter when we get our influx of 'Winter Visitors' or 'Snowbirds' or 'Bluehairs' or whatever you prefer to call them. There are a handful of theatres that run year-round; but most resort to teaching summer workshops or running youth programs to get through the unbearably hot months of scarce artistic offerings.
Most actors in Arizona have been spending the last few months prepping and making appointments for 'season generals'. These are the 'bulk' auditions held by most of the major theatres during the summer and it typically means being considered for any or all shows on their season roster.
Preparation for these auditions means putting together resumes and headshots and also prepping AT LEAST two contrasting monologues and/or two contrasting songs if you are auditioning for musicals. Easy, right? Not for this cookie!

I have some really bad habits in auditions. I get VERY nervous. I've never understood this about myself. I can play a screaming maniac in my underwear to sold out houses without missing a beat or flubbing a single line. But if you line 3-7 people up behind a table to watch me, I'm sunk. That's it. Put a fork in me. Done.
I hate musical auditions simply because there is NO way to hide the unmistakable vibrato of nerves. Yes, I know I sound like my 300lb., operatic, 6th grade choir teacher. No, it's not intentional.
I do much better auditioning for plays, though even that is tough for me. Most of my 'straight show' experience is in the classics. No one wants the classics at an audition. Everyone does the classics and most do them poorly. Shakespeare, Shaw, Moliere, whatever... any time I have prepped a classical audition piece, I've gotten flack for it. I have to admit, however, that it hasn't stopped me from using Shakespeare as an audition piece. One of my mentors (and a brilliant director and voice teacher, whom I miss dearly) once said to me that I should stick with what I do well. He was pretty blunt and didn't pull any punches when he pointed out my weaknesses. He warned me to NEVER show weaknesses in an audition. "If you're debating between a piece you know you do well and a piece that 'fits' the parameters of what you're auditioning for or is impressive (aka 'fireworky') then you need to stick with what you do WELL. Use it as a gimmick if you have to. Become the 'Pinter' fellah or the 'Sondheim' gal as long as you can knock it out of the ballpark and leave your panel cheering for the great entertainment they've just seen. If you're mediocre about it, don't bother.

So, I've stuck with that philosophy to some extent and try to stick with what I know. With what I do 'well'. Sometimes it works... sometimes I fall flat on my face. This time, I'm just glad to have made it through every scheduled audition (and some with successful results).

I hate the preparation. The decisions to be made between pieces that show range of character or emotion, vocal range, and the ability to do whatever the director has in his head that he might wanna make you do... and no, I'm not talking about the casting couch; since I've never run into an actual 'casting couch' situation. Except for that one time I auditioned as a vocalist for 'Bash on Ash'. (The head honcho was so pissed I wouldn't meet him for dinner and drinks that he left a ranting 20-minute voicemail asking "Who do you think you are?!" and vowing I would "NEVER work in this town". I saved it for months and listened to it whenever I needed a good laugh.) Needless to say, the casting couch doesn't really exist... and if it does, then all the more power to ya. Simply 'cuz that only requires the prep of a good shower and shave beforehand. And certainly much more 'instant gratification'.

Now that the season generals are done (for the most part) there is nothing to do but wait. Oh sure... there's still the job, the kids and the daily routine to attend to. But, there's an uncertainty. Did they like me? Was it okay? Not okay? Did they hate me? Am I even appropriate for any of the open roles?? I don't ever feel the 'closure' until I hear through the grapevine that such-and-such is cast... or until I get "the callback".

But that's a whole 'nother blog.

So, on that note: I hope I didn't talk too much or seem like I had the personality of a zit to any of the many directors I auditioned for. If they didn't like me, I suppose there's always next year. And if they did like me, I'll hopefully get a second chance to knock their socks off at callbacks.
For now, I can happily check off four season general auditions, five callback auditions and two confirmed contracts for next season. Not off to a bad start... and as I pop the cork on my bottle of wine, I can't help but feel that it's deserved.

Cheers.